Just In Hard Luck. Irnte Gue-t (to waiter lxk here, didn't I order a Hwlna rheeae aand-wlch? aand-wlch? I'ollto Walter-V. a, air. and there It I. Irate Oueit There'a two allcea a bread, but can you find any cheeae oi themT Polite Walter I'm aorry, air, thi cheeae la tin re all right, only yol happened to hit on one of the hoioa. Getting Back at Her. "No, Mi Woimter," aald the frlgll maid with the Imported comploilon "It ran never he. I'm aatladed I would not make a fcood wife for I poor man." "I gueaa thnl a the nnadulleratef truth." rejoined the young man whe had been given the dlr.zy whirl, "1ml yon will undoubtedly make a pool wife for aume good nmn." Then Ha Cot Wild. Wlfo Priink acnln, laet nlghtT Iluaband (aulklly) Tbut'a my bual-neea. bual-neea. Wlfo So It aeema. Pay Day In Sight Mile Hhorliin mnrried an helreaa Innt week and he dei'livrea alio la all tho world to him. (Illea Kd he netting ready to collect col-lect the debt, eh? Mllea-WInt debt? (llleH Why. the one hla wlfo owea him. I heard him K:iy onu tlino that tho world owed him a IIviiijt. ilmely Wnrninn to Noah. "Nimli," exe'iiliTie I tho Rrnnd old anllora wlfo, "what ar you lnpplng at?" "Confound that mnaiinllii." he an-awered. an-awered. "I'll an. nub It yet. you aeo If I don't." "Henry W. Nonh, what do you mean? Have you forgotten that wo have only two moaiiultoa In the ark?" Wanta and Wlahea. "There'a a airango man at the door, air," annriunred tho new aervant from Iloaton. "What doea he want." aaked th neater of the houae, Impatiently. "Hogging your pnrdon. air." replied the aervunt. a ahade of rilitapproval manlfeat In hla voice, "he wanta a bath, hut what ho la aaklug fur la aomethlng to ent." Modern Precaution. "Adam would have nover eutcn that apple In theae daya." "Why not?" "Well, hla phyaiclnn would have (old him to remove, tho akin to avoid Indlgeatlon inul to remove tho aeed to avoid appondlcltlH. Ily the time he did all thla he would hau IhouKht bettor of tho mutter and not eutun the apple at all." Hoatlla. --j- iilij-'(v'y nrlina Una your rook boon with you li .ii k T Prim- With iw? flood henver.a. no' Kho'n been aaiimt u uluiosl hoiu Ilia first. S.illio and Willie. "1 notice. Willie, t in- l.orrlea ore b.-c'in'M'. pretty plentiful upi n the "Yi. s'aillo, nnd they will retni'lr mure pleiitllul npuii the ni.lit.et l.'ii; uiion our tiiblo until the prleo ri ;i Mi-oiller nnd the Imimis gel lurKer." Holler Monthly. It Waa All Rirjht. "And row. ni v dear." mild the fie-Ma'ui fie-Ma'ui 'd yiniih. "-Alien may 1 apeak to voiir rm her?" 'You don't hnve to. tleore,-." repllcl the 'vei-t yimiii: thine, who hu 1 Jim uee.'iiled hlni. i ! . - told nie today ih.it It you ilbln'l Hpeiik to inn tn-nlKht he'd bpeuli to von toinorruw." A Translation. "In vino vr-rlla" ni. tint the truili Is l-il to I' iik out of oven ui iM-eei.lt'i:iv r lit man. Vuck.