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Show 4 I A Line o9 Type or Two I i "Fay ce qua vouldras.' BY B. L. T. Jane Addams was awakened by a street battle in Berlin. She said concerning it, "We went to tho window and looked out, and then concluded it was none of our affair and went back to sleep." Which was precisely what the I'mted States did when it was awakened by the German guns in 1014. How Are Your Teeth? (From a government bulletin.) Probably the first thing to consider is the teeth. If they are badly worn thy should be renewed. Any bent or damaged dam-aged teeth should bo replaced. Kach tooth should be tapped lightly with a hammer to determine by the sound whether it is tight. Any loose tooth should be driven firmly in place with a heavy hammer and the nut drawn tight against the bar or spring washer. (The bulletin, we forgot to say, refers to the acre and repair of farm implements.) imple-ments.) "That shows the cupidity of the packers." pack-ers." John Dill Kobertson. Yes, they are almost as cupid as -the druggists, and the dealers In dry goods, and the butchers and bakers and manufacturers manu-facturers of caiidlesticks. When the war was on, a sense of so-called patriotism restrained a nation "deemed material, ; but now found to be compact of the spir- ! Itual forces that must free men of every ! nation from every unworthy bondage." The Worm Turneth. I'm one of two million In khaki 1 Who never got over to France; And all that wc got from the army Was just a swift kick In the unmentionables. unmen-tionables. But although I am poor, meek and lowly, The throat I will slit with a dirk Of that garrulous jay Who asks me each day, "Aren't you glad to bo back at your work?" DOUBLE BARREL. Europe Learns About Cedar falls. (Prom the Cedar Falls Record.) The fame of Colonel J. W. Ford, Cedar Falls auctioneer and real estate dealer, has reached Europe and caused The Daily Hecord to be quoted in the foreign press, according to a letter received today from Clarke Wilson, a Cedar Falls boy In army service at Cllgnacourt Barracks, Paris. The notable paragraph that heralded Colonel Ford's fame abroad was one that was taken from The Record by B. L,. T. some weeks ago, referring to Ford's trip to Minneapolis. When it appeared in the Paris edition of The 'Tribune of June 21, the Cedar Falls soldier boy was thrilled with pride to think that Cedar Falls was coming into prominence in Europe Eu-rope through the reflected importance or one of Its well known citizens. The paragraph par-agraph about Ford was as follows. "WHAT IS YOUR CONJECTURE, WATSON? (From the Cedar Falls Record.) Col. J. W. Ford went to Minneapolis this morning to spend a few days on a combined pleasure and business trip. "Jim" said before leaving that the "second" "sec-ond" thing he was going to do after reaching the milling city was to secure something to eat. According to Mr. Jim Barnes, whose new and really valuable book of golf-swing golf-swing photographs has just left the press, one can get more fun out of golf by knowing what he is about when wielding the various clubs. But according to Capper Cap-per & Capper,. "How to Get More Fun Out-of Golf" depends on wearing athletic union suits- with swiss-ribbed bottoms. Lay It on the Proofreader, Eiqquie. Sir: "Obstitui steterunlque comae, vox haucibus haesit." It looks as if it were up to the esteemed, etc., proofroom to say just where Riq's voice stuck on this memorable occasion. CALCITROSTJS. "Juliet Capulet would shed a shocked tear if she could hear the term 'romance' applied to any one of those sordid liaisons liai-sons of the present that end in shootings." shoot-ings." Dally News. It shocks us not a little to see them dignified by the term "liaison." From St. Nazaire A. M. O. presents her compliments and reports a sign in the public gardens: "It is strictly forbidden to let go into the public garden animals which are not held by a slip and ride on bicycles." Small Town Stuff. (From the Racine Times-Call.) Many people are interested daily in the antics of a number of doves which gather around the peanut wagon at the corner of Third and Main streets. The doves have become so tame that they perch on the h?rrid of Fred Buss, the proprietor, and eat peanut kernels which are in the palm. Mr. Buss knows each dove by name, and has a peculiar whistle by which he calls them. There are also several sev-eral sparrows which flock around the peanut wagon every afternoon. "Elks' Conveni ion Dry. But a Success," Headline. A most Ingenious paradox. The Elks, we note, have elected Mr. Rain as grand exalted ruler. From which you should be able to chisel a small wheeze. The palm or perhaps we should say sole must be transferred from Chicago to Milwaukee. A merchant advertises in the Milwaukee Journal. "Tho biggest thing in shoes this year." Honk! Honk! (From a Wisconsin Paper.) Mr. and Mrs. Ford Horn and baby son, Charles, return homo tomorrow evening from a "visit since Thursday with relatives rela-tives in "Waukesha. Another problem promises to eliminate itself. The Koreans believe it is better to die for independence than to live under un-der Japanese rule. "I happen to be secretary of war." Mr. Baker. They will happen, in the best regulated governments. "Tf the league of nations is rejected the world's heart will be broken." Is there not more danger that its lips wil be cracked? |