Salt Lake Tribune | 1918-08-18 | Page 40 | Breakfast Food

Tr-jE CARP. It is a Gerirtan mariner ' "Who sailE a submarine V And gazes on the wreckage which . Is floating on the scene. I "As long act I am here," save he. I "No Red Cross ship will tiail the sea." M'e crave to see the moving ntcturn o-' the Dempsey-Fulton fight. But more we crave to gaze upon a closeon of Jack Curley as he counted the fate". This Dempsey person is unconsert-a-tlve, to say the least. Everv time he punches a meal ticket, the "sa'd "meal ticket looks as if it had been flirting with a machine gun. Sam Langford was the original Hoover of the boxing game. Sam has been known to nurse a. bread card for -ears. HARRY GF1EB, 'His brow isn't high. And his wild, warlike ere Has no scientific, devotion; But all will agree At the ringside that he Has discovered perpetual motion. A gent who writes a column is alwav up against it these days. He looks ever the first page and the ' mans and diagrams dia-grams oh the second oase. and the expert ex-pert dope on the third page, and says unto himself: "Them names are stranl-e names. What chance has a rhymMer got''!. It is as if one were to trio over so much barbed wire." And th'n one turns unto the snorting page, and the first illustration which greets his eve is an athlete named Icliaya Kugamae "or something like that. There is always something to keen one's mind off serious subieets. we begin to peruse the casuaitv list" There comes into our midst, a chess tournament. tourna-ment. We judge from Ichaya's portrait in the paper that he Is a regular tennis player. He wears v-.-hlte pants. PHONEY... When Bill, the kaiser, speaks o' peac In accents soft and grave,- "1 And makes a noble offer! nsr The ra-'ished world to sav. His talk is just as phoney As the loving cups he gave. If the allies keip on advancing' t the present rate, the kaiser's sons will soon be m A ladivoslok. A world's serie.i this tear will io';r'P enjoyable affair to those who )il-e bur?l lesque. f Fortunately, the Browns and ''.'aids played their city series last spring, s" that momentous o.uestion is settled. A SMOKER'S YEARNING, Id like to be an eirman. And with the airmen fl--Above the le-:, above the fj Athwart the summer sky. Id like to he an airman And sail o'er dale and hill. For all the day it seems that they Are puffing on a pin. I'd like to be an airman And soar above the laud. For where he gets his ciaarets I canpot understand. Bill Hohenzoilern arises to remark that the American troops cannot frighten Germany. Bill evidently has gathered an erroneous impression. The Amerieni troops are not there to frighten the Htm. They are there to lick him. Even though he -a as beaten, Fred Fulton Ful-ton shows that he has all the earmarks of a successful pugilist. He has come forward with an alibi. "How are the Yankr Coming out?" asked a stranger, loaning oer our desk a ninnipiit. ago. "They are winning." responded we. "What's the score'.'" questioned he. Then we realized that he wasn't thinking think-ing about the same kind of auks that tt o were thinking about. John Mc.h-jw is. a game guv. Ho nV assumed the job of managing Heine Zh' and Fred Toney at one and the sanm time. The rapidity with which those town are falling into the hands of the alllfti indicates that It Is easier to oaplur 'cm than to oronouiiu '.slu.