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Show QDo you believe that your child is not personally involved in drugs even though you realize that there is a drug problem in your community and in your schools? ', - Yes No ff 1 Most parents accept the fact that drugs are a problem of J(j epidemic proportions, but they prefer to believe , that it's somebody else's child who has the problem, not their own. This kind of denial can be dangerous. Your best defense against drug abuse is to realize that no family is immune to the problem pro-blem ; it can and does occur in all types of families . QDo you think that because your child is a high achiever or "popular," he or she is safe from drugs? Yes No Parents often feel that if their children are good students, have goals and interests and a strong self-image, they are not going to.get involved with drugs. Unfortunately, statistics show that all kinds of youngsters honor students, homecoming queens, and athletes included can have drug problems. Just because your child doesn"t 90 to rock concerts or hang out with the "wrong with the "wrong" kids doesn't mean he or she isn't using us-ing drugs. The fact is that most youngsters on drugs buy, sell, and use substances at school. Kids also do drugs at home, at sporting and club events, even at church. QDo you feel guilty about checking up on where your child goes and who his friends are? Yes No lfA J Don't feel guilty! Checking up means you care. It is not only LXXJ your right but your obligation to know where your youngster is, what he is doing and with whom. Children don't always make the best choice for themselves. It is the parents' respon-1 respon-1 sibility to steer.them back in the right direction when they veer . too far off course, and to catch them when they fall. Parents ' are the safety net that provides children a healthy passage from childhood to adulthood. QDo you consider your child's room off-limits to you because you respect his or her privacy? ; Yes No ; V I While a son or daughter is entitled to some privacy, you are IKJ also entitled to know what is going on in your home. Drug users often get in their rooms and stash their drug supplies in the i house rwithout arousing their parents' suspicions. Children hide drugs inside stereo speakes, in heating and air condition- ing vents, sew them inside stuffed animals, tape them behind ; posters. One youngster admitted: "I kept them in my parents' closet because I knew they wouldn't look there!" Q Would you recognize drugs or drug paraphernalia if you saw them? ! Yes No mMany parents don't know what a roach clip looks like or black beauties, rainbows, yellow jackets. For your own protection j you should find out what drugs look like, what their effects are, 1 how they smell, what their street names are, and how to spot ; their use. Most communities have organized parent groups ; who are informed and happy to share their knowledge of drugs ; and drug paraphernalia. Or ask your local police or health : departments for guidance. Q Would you be alarmed if your child showed changes in at- titudes, grades, friends, or interests? Yes No O: ft 1 Investigate immediately if your child suddenly seems "dif-1 "dif-1 9 t a ferent" if his values have changed, if his old friends don't j come around any more and you wish the new friends wouldn't, if his grades have slipped, or if he has suddenly lost all interest I in favorite hobbies or projects. Youngsters who use drugs regularly can exhibit any or all of these signs. Q Would you believe your child if he or she admitted to trying marijuana once but that's all? Yes No ! VV 1 A youngster who admits to having tried drugs once is more i I 1 a likely to be "using" drugs regularly. His admission is a means of minimizing his involvement to himself as well as to you. A child : who truly did try drugs only once or twice out of curiosity is not likely to admit it at all because he thinks he has done something "bad" and fears the consequences. To learn the real truth, you will have to monitor your child's friends, activities, and behavior. Q t Does your child have his or her own supply of eye drops? Yes Ll No D Be suspicious if the answer is yes. Drug absuers often try to hide the red eyes that result from regular use of marijuana or alcohol by constantly applying eye drops. (In an attempt to hide the smell of alcohol on their breath, youngsters also use heavy perfume, chew strong-flavored gum. and eat spoonfuls of peanut butter.) QDo you equate your child's behavior problems with your own "wild oats" period and tell yourself that he'll outgrow it Just as you did? Yes No If you do, you may be deceiving yourself. It is vital for parents I a f J not to lose their perspective on what constitutes a normal range of adolescent behavior. Having a beer after a basketball game is not the same as getting high before school every day. Talking back to a parent is not the same as punching a hole through a wall in a fit of blind rage. - - - - - - Page conceptby Marly Lee y y '- . 1 yjy' js- y"y ' x y y y y ' --t - - "-' 1 yy U & m -m I KEl 1 QHave objects or money mysteriously disappeared from your home? Yes No "1 If they have, you should not fgnore this danger signal. Iflfl Youngsters who first start on drugs usually use their friends' supplies. (One of the ways they deny their drug use to themselves is by believing that if they don't buy drugs, they don't have a drug problem.) However, as their drug use escalates, they soon have to buy their own. Drugs can cost a great deal of money, so the youngster may steal cash from Mom's purse or Dad's wallet or take silver, tools, jewelry, or other items that can easily be turned into cash. QDo you and your husband conceal from each other information about your child's behavior? Yes n No n VT Parents who say, "I'm not going to tell your father about what UIJ happened this time;" or "Your mother doesn't have to know this; it'll just worry her," are really acting as co-conspirators in their child's drug problem. Such statements are really inviting the child to play his parents against each other, thus keeping them from joining together to stop his drug use. Parents may see it as a way of making the child "straighten out," but in reality reali-ty this withholding of information helps neither the troubled child, the situation, nor the marriage. To the contrary, the best way to combat a child's drug problem is for all family members to be honest with each other and band together at the first signs of trouble. QDo you and your husband blame each other for your youngster's problems? Yes D No n J Marriages are often marred, if not completely wrecked, by a LUJ cnild wno uses drugs. Parents who blame each other or themselves for the problem only add to the burden already imposed on the family by the drug-using child. Attaching blame is a waste of everybody's time and doesn't solve the problem. Parents must face their child's drug problem together, as a team. Even if they are divorced, they should work together to do what is best for their child. QHas your husband been spending more time away from home lately? Yes D mMany parents feel the easiest way to cope with a child's drug problem is to withdraw from the family scene spend more hours at the office, make more trips out of town. Such avoidance doesn't work, of course and the child eventually will cause enough trouble to force the family to face his drug use . VWWCTWWMHI I III Mil , I II 1 IU.a M IIIIRUIIWWMII IJII III PNWIJP 111 14 I . I ! Iljlll Jl II III QHave you noticed behavioral changes in other family members as well as the problem child? Yes No M Families are something like mobiles: When one part of the structure loses its balance, every other part must shift to find a new balance. In a family thrown off balance because one child is a drug user, the other children may suddenly adopt new roles in an effort to rebalance the family structure. A child may become super good in order to make up for the drug user's bad behavior. Another child might compensate by constantly getting get-ting into scrapes himself in order to distract the family from the problem and attract attention to himself. A child may become extremely passive in an attempt to escape from the family turmoil tur-moil or may clown constantly in a desperate effort to get the family to laugh again. In some cases a sibling will imitate the drug-using child and take up the habit too. QDoes anyone in your family use prescription or over-the- counter drugs to wake up, go to sleep, lose weight, or relax? Yes No A parent who regularly uses prescribed or over-the-counter drugs is giving a nonverbal message to a child: Drugs are a "normal" part of life. So if your medicine cabinet contains drugs other than those for strictly medicinal purposes, seriously evaluate what they are and throw out what you don't use and don't use what you don"t need. Qlf your child is going to smoke pot or drink alcohol, would you rather he do it at home? Yes n No D Many parents fall into the trap of trying to be understanding and "modern" about substance use. However, allowing children to use drugs at home or trying drugs along with parents) is a way of giving the drugs parental approval. Parents should make sure every family member knows exactly what the family attitude about drugs and alcohol use is, what the rules are concerning these substances, and what the consequences con-sequences are for violating the rules. Parents should never let a child convince them that they're "old fogies" if they don't allow youngsters to indulge in "recreational" drugs. QHave you been told by a counselor that "trying drugs" is a nor- mal phase of growing up for a youngster? Yes No Mlf you have, don't believe It! If you send your youngster to a therapist or professional counselor, make sure that person is informed about the dangers of adolescent drug use and does not consider it a "normal" part of growing up. i. .ii ii. ..,u,., :m ..I.-. iiui. .i-. ..,,..,.,, |