| Show MR DOOLEY ON CHURCH FAIRS Ho Commends John McCarty for J Beating One of Them Well Jawn said Mr Dooley laying lay-Ing down his newspaper and pushing his spectacles up over his forehead If theyse anny man In all th wuriuld that desarves to be called a hero that man Is John McCurty Iv Lemont What bus he been doing asked Mr McKenna Ha beat a church fair said Mr I Dooley He wlnt again thlin at th1 wheel Iv fortune an carld off wan hundhred an fifty dollars an th blat I part Iv It was he kep It Theys no wan Iver done that befure since fairs was staarted fr th greater glory iv Gawd Ive played dice with that ruf fyan OMalley whin th Inside Iv I th box was that polished ye cud see yeer face In It an I won tin dollars wanst In a game Iv caards with three lauda trm the Tlnth ward an whin I counted count-ed th deck afterwards they wasnt a face caard In It But I nlvcr beat a church fair They say Mike McDonald joined th1 Jews whin he heerd Iv what McCarty done Wanst I knew a man be th name Iv Burke that come frm somewhere around Derry though he was no iris bytahrlan Ho was Iv th right sort Well he was feelln howcomeyeso an he dhriftcd over to where we was holdln a fair They was a band outside out-side an ho thought It was a grand openln so he come In with a cigar In th side Iv his mouth un his hat hang In onto his ear T was the las night Iv th fair an Ivery thins was wide open fr th pi lest had gone home an we wanted fr to break th rlcord This Burke was fr lavln when he see where he was but we run him again th shoot In gallery where ye got twintyflve clnts a quarter Iv a dollar fr Ivory time ye rang th bell Th 01 gun we had was crooked as a rams horn but It must ve fitted Into Burkes squint i fr he made that there bell ring as If ho was a conductor Iv a grlpcar round jn a curve He had th shootln gallery gal-lery on Its las llgs whin we run him again th wheeloffprtunc He broke It Thin we thrled him on th grab bog They was four goold watches an anny quantity Iv brickbats an chunks Iv coal In th bag He had four dives t an got a watch each time He took a chance on Ivery thins an he won a foldln bed a doll that cud talk like an ol gate a piano a lampshade a life Iv St Aloysius a pair Iv shoes a baseball I base-ball bat an Ice cream freezer an th pomes Iv Mike Scanlan Well th comity was dlsthractod Hero was a man thatd break th fair an do It with th blst humor fr he come frm another parish So wo held a private session Wlmtll we do 7 says Dorgan th chairman They was a man bo th name Iv Flaherty a goodman good-man thin an a betther now fr hes dead may he rlst In peace An Fla herty pays Weve got to take th bull bo th horns he says If ye lavo him to me ho says Ill fix him So we Inlooccd this man Burke fr to comedown come-down back Iv th shootlngallery an says he to Burke Yeer lucky tonight Not so very says Burke Twud boa bo-a shame fr to lave yo get away with all yove won says Flaherty Twill bo a grrcat Inconvanlence says Burke Ill have to hire two or three dhrays he says an tis late Well says Flaherty Im appointed be th parish fr to cut th caards with ye he says fr to see whither ye give back what ye won or take whats lift Tin fair says Burke an whoever wins tis tr a good cause an he put th money an th watches on th table High man says Flaherty High man says Uurke Flaherty cut th king Iv spades Burke th robber cut th ace Iv hearts He was leachln out fr th money whin Flaherty put his hands over It Wild ye take It 7 says he I wud says Burke Wud ye rob th church 7 says Flaherty I wud says Burke Thin says Flaherty scoopln It In yer a heretic an tlipyso nnwthln cumin to ye Huike looked at him an he looked at th comity com-ity an he says Oentlemln Iv ever yt come over In th Slvlnth ward dhrop In an see me he says Ill thry mi make It pllstnt fr ye he says An he wlnt away Th sthory got out an th goodman good-man heerd Iv It Ho was mighty mad about It an th nix sermon hum preached was on th evils Iv gamblln but he asked Flaherty fr to take up th colllctlon Mr Dooley thought awhile and then called Jawn What Is It 7 asked Mr McKcnna II Twas all right fr McCarty Iv Le mont to beat th church fair but what does It profit a man If ho gains th whole wurruld an loses his own soul Id not be In his place fr twice wan hundherd an fifty an Id kill a man this mlnylt fr wan hundherd Chlca iro Post |
