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Show Cyclops Meter helpful to halt sex harassment Cyclops By BRYAN GRAY Many months after the initial complaints were filed, a federal judge has paved the way for Davis County's high-profile case of sexual sex-ual harassment. So far, the tittering has been put on hold-but not for long! The case involves a former secretary secre-tary who claims Dr. Enrico Leopar-di, Leopar-di, the county's health department chief, made sexually-oriented and demeaning comments. At one point, she claims, the good doctor asked her to retrieve his keys from the front pocket of his pants...And on another occasion, he asked her if she ' felt as good as she looked. ' The merits of the case will be decided in a jury trial later this summer, but the rumblings have already started in Davis County's business community. "I'm afraid to even speak to a woman employee," said one businessman. busi-nessman. "I'm scared she might misconstrue what I say and take me to court. Can Cyclops offer any help?" J The man is correct in thinking he is walking a thin line. If you hire a female employee and then ignore her, the woman will obviously think the employer is of a macho breed who gets his jollies out of mistreating women. No, the employer must talk to the employeebut for that he needs a Cyclops Meter. "What is a Cyclops Meter?" asked the businessman. The Cyclops Meter is an intricate device which flashes a warning signal whenever a male employer says or does something that could lead to an expensive lawyer. A few examples: BODY PARTS-Telling a female employee that she has nice legs, for instance, will set the Cyclops Meter flashing into the Warren Beatty red zone. In contrast, telling the same female employee that she has a nicely-formed but enlarged toe is perfecdy acceptable. When dealing with body parts, it's important to phrase the question or comment in a proper way. For instance, telling an employee she has pretty hair is dangerous. However, a comment like, "Freshly-washed hair always makes for a pleasant day, don't you agree?" only registers a cool (and safe) blue on the Cyclops Meter. CLOTHING-Women acquire clothing for the sole reason of receiving re-ceiving compliments. Therefore, a male employer who ignores an employee's attire does so at his own risk. Any mention, however, of panty-hose or V-necked blouses registers a warning light on the Cyclops Meter. If you must mention men-tion a blouse, couch it in less explicit ex-plicit tones: "That blouses appears as if it came from Nordstrom's.' (Note: be careful that you don't use this line too often. If said more than twice per week, the woman may actually ac-tually begin shopping at Norstrom's-and will suitably demand de-mand a raise!) EMPLOYER FACIAL AP-PEARANCE-The acceptance of comments from a male employer is somewhat discretionary and may well depend on the tone in which it is presented. The user's manual for the Cyclops Meter informs employers that they should never leer or smirk when addressing a female employee. At the same time, an expressionless look may be viewed by the woman as smugness. The answer, according to the Cyclops Meter user's manual, is for the employer either to A) address female employees with a professionally profes-sionally deft smile, or (B) wear a mask to conceal any possibility of a hidden grin. (NOTE: The selection of the mask is important While a Bob Newhart or Don Knotts mask is suggested, an employer should definitely refrain from using a devil's mask or a Ted Cannon mask.) Some may think the Cyclops Meter is a chauvinistic invention. Some readers might say, "Women should merely be treated as equals in the workplace with no idle chatter about the woman's appearance." ap-pearance." The problem with this theory, however, is that employees traditionally tradi-tionally request recognition. Before women entered the workplace, it was very common for a male employee on a loading dock to be greeted by a bear-sized supervisor with the colloquial, "Hello, Joe. you look extremely ugly and crude today." At which time the loading dock employees would grab the supervisor by his neck and say, 4 'And your fat beer belly is still intact in-tact there, Frank!" In fact, Joe might even reach into Frank's shirt pocket and retrieve a cigarette. There was no question of sexual harassment and Joe didn't walk to his gumey while pondering what Frank really meant by that comment. com-ment. If Joe didn't like what Frank had said, he'd simply punch him in the jaw-not look for a telephone book so he could find the address of a good attorney. But those were simpler times... There was no need for the Cyclops Meter. But there is now! |