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Show A car sign could solve the problem things on the road myself. I've turned without signaling. I've cut people off. I can even remember getting distracted and nearly rear-ending rear-ending someone. Of course, I'm still a better driver than most people. peo-ple. Whenever I do something dumb, I want to stop the person I cut off (or whatever) and explain it to truth is, my church will be having a car wash for a fund-raiser soon, and I want to leave the car dirty so I can go and support them. I might also program it to say, Sure the inside of this car is dirty, but I'm only in here a few minutes each day. Besides, it isn't your car, so why should it bother you? Come to think of it, the sign might be useful when other drivers make mistakes. I could program it to say all of the nasty things I normally nor-mally yell. For example, if the car ahead of me on the freeway was going go-ing too slowly, the sign could say, The gas pedal is the long, skinny one on the right. Press it toward the floor. I'd have to be careful though-if I got too busy programming the sign, I might cut somebody off. My wife and I were driving to the f grocery store when a blue BMW cut us off. "You idiot!" I screamed at the offending driver. "Just because you own an expensive car, you think you own the road!" I went on to describe the poor fellow's family history and intellectual abilities in some detail. When I finally ran out of insults, my wife asked, "Do you feel better now?" 1 didn't. How could I? The other guy hadn't heard me. I began to feel ' better, though, when we pulled into the parking lot and saw the same blue BMW. "Now's my chance to give this . guy a piece of my mind," I told my wife as I jumped out. "Accomplish much?" she asked when I got back in. "Uh...no," I said, "I didn't really real-ly say anything. That was my boss in his new car. I'm sure he didn't really mean to cut me off. It was probably just an accident." When I got thinking about it, I realized that I do some pretty dumb huh? What kind of mileage does that thing get? Somehow, though, I doubt that most drivers would be willing to stop and listen to me. Maybe I could get one of those electronic signs that banks use and put it on my roof. Every time I did something dumb, I could program the sign to explain it for me. know.. J know... I'm sorry. My 2-year-old just spilled a box of animal cookies and I was bending over to pick them up. The sign could come in handy when one of my headlights is out, too. The message might read, know that my left headlight is burnt out. V ve been meaning to get to the store to get one, but you wouldn't believe how busy I've been this week. Thanks for your concern, though. I could even use the sign when the car wasn't moving. Every time I park I could program it to read, know my car is very dirty. I know that I should wash and wax it. The ( - - t KEVIN CUMMINGS Correspondent them. I want to say, "Look, I'm sorry I cut you off. I'm not normally normal-ly this stupid. I mean I'm not like one of those maniacs who drive an expensive import. By the way, what is that you're driving? A Mercedes, |
