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Show Tios rasa Parents AF3 Afraid Of (ids By DR. DARYL J. MCCARTY Parents seem to be most afraid of their offspring at two points in the youngster's growing-up years. WHEN THE child is only a few hours old, Dad may be reluctant to pick up the baby for fear it will "break." When the baby becomes a teenager, some parents are afraid the kid will break away. I'm told of a man and wife who were given this ultimatum ul-timatum by a 17-year-old son: "Either you let me drive the car to school, or I'm not going to school anymore." Mom and Dad handed over the keys to the car. THAT KID was testing his parents. He intimidated them and won. Many other parents wouldn't do that to a child. They're smart enough to do their job firmly and thoughtfully. Psychologist Alan McFarland says parents can have fun living with their adolescent children. He says many people find that being the parent of an almost-adult threatening and emotionally demanding. T HATE to see parents who have been delighted with their nursery level and young children lose their enthusiasm as parents of teenagers," he said. "Basically, your job is the same as it was when you helped your toddler learn to ride his tricycle," he said,. , addressing a group of parents. "You show him how, and then you step back and let him do it. But you're always there when he needs you for help or advice." WATCHING your kid ride away on a trike you bought him is very different from watching him roar away in a Pontiac you're buying for yourself. Psychologist McFarland and many others wise in the ways of dealing with teenagers will tell you that the parent who's too weak to draw the line will wind up toeing toe-ing the line. BEING THE parent of a teenager requires a touch somewhere between kid gloves and boxing gloves. Find that happy mid-point and life with your teenager can be happy. That's not to say you won't have problems. But you'll be able to deal with them. |