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Show WHERE ' THE FUM COMES IN Not to Be Expected. For nearly an hour the salesman had been dilating on the marvels of the motor car he was trying to sell. "And the price of the car is $750," the customer murmured thoughtfully. thought-fully. "Does that include everything?" every-thing?" "Yes oh, no, of course, the lamps are extra." "Lamps extra!" salfl the customer sharply. "But they are shown in the illustration." "My dear sir, so is a very beautiful beauti-ful woman," said the salesman smoothly; "but we do not give a lady with every car!" Mango's Medal. If there was one thiug Ossup Mango was partial to It was a good moving picture. So he settled down in an aisle seat with a sigh of expectation ex-pectation as the eighty-seventh episode epi-sode of "The Hazards of Hannah" oean on the screen. Just as the note explainng the villain's vil-lain's motive was flashed on a stout man with all his hair in his whiskers wedged himself in frorft of Ossup on his way to an Inside seat. "Pshaw. I missed the note !" thought Ossup. "Ah ! He's going to blow up the bridge!" Half a second before the dynamite went off a thin woman with three bnbles In her arms got in front of him on her way in. , "And I lore explosions, too!" muttered mut-tered Ossup. But a few minutes later he brightened, for the aeroplane aero-plane chase started. All during the chase Ossup was gaziug at the back of a fireman who had got wedged between Ossup's knees and the seat in front. "I know!" thought Ossup. "in wait for the second show and see the parts these people have made me miss!" And he did, and during the note scene the thin woman stood in front of him on her way out, the fireman fire-man blocked the bridge explosion and the stout man hid the aeroplane chase. It. was then that Ossup Mango killed the two ushers who came down to chide him for compialuiug aloud. But later the judge who tried him, being a movie fan himself, discharged dis-charged him with au iron cross. Indianapolis Star. But Somebody May Get It. An Englishman serving his country coun-try as attache to the British embassy em-bassy at Washington says that Sir Arthur Conan Doyle has more than once been sought out by persons desirous de-sirous of consulting him about thefts. To one such woman Sir Arthur good naturedly said: "My detective powers are quite at your service." "Frequent and mysterious thefts," said the woman, "have been occurring occur-ring at my house for a long time. There disappeared last week a moLor horn, a broom, a box of golf balls, a left riding boot, a dictionary and a half-dozen tin plates." "The case is perfectly clear." said Sir Arthur; "you keep a goat." She Wanted to Know. Helen was a very inquisitive child, who greatly annoyed her father each evening with endless questions, while he tried to read the newspaper. news-paper. One evening, among other tilings, she demanded; "Papa, what do you do at the office of-fice all day?" Exasperated at her persistence, he answered : "Oh. nothing!" Helen was silent a moment, and then asked : "But bow do you know when you're done?" Pat, Mike and the Mutton. "Is that you, Pat?" "It was yesterday, and will be to-morrer, to-morrer, so, bedad, it's loikely enough It is today. And is that Mike?'' "It's doubtful that I sometimes am, but people won't believe me when I tell tbem I am not." "That's a nice lot of sheep ye -have." "I'm not disagreein' with ye." "How many have ye?" "Shure, Oi've niver counted." "Well, well, it's the sthrange man ye are. And have ye no notion, then?" "Begorrah. Oi have a notion ttiat if Oi had thirty-six more o1 them dear sheep Oi'd be forty-eight short ', of three toimes the number Oi have." Ifl P k3 II "Do you always understand whui you say?" "Yes. always, if I listen very, very ea refully." -T- Just Business. "Fanny, I must forbid your opening open-ing any of my mall." "But this Is just a business letter and you used to " "Yes, my dear; but even lny business busi-ness letters are getting personal nowadays." Judge. . |