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Show Cant Tatt To Kids? Try Wg With Them A five-year-old visiting the kindergarten he is about to enter points to a row of paintings on the wall and " asks, "Who drew those ugly pictures?" AS AN adult, your first reaction may be to chide the youngster for criticizing others. A more helpful response, res-ponse, however, is; "You don't have to draw pretty pictures here. You can draw any kind of pictures you want." This reply indicates that-you that-you have seen in the question the child's uncertainty that he will be able to draw nice pictures pic-tures when he is in kindergarten. kinder-garten. THESE AND other do's and don'ts of "Talking with Children" were discussed during a recent grand rounds lecture by Dr. Esther H. Wender, as part of the University of Utah College of Medicine's continuing education educa-tion program for college and community physicians. Dr. Wender is assistant professor of pediatrics and instructor in psychiatry at the University Medical School. "CHILDREN HAVE trouble saying things directly. We often of-ten don't understand the code, and respond to the content of the message rather than to the feelings involved," Dr. Wender said. "It tajes a certain cer-tain skill to communicate with children, but we can all develop this skill." Active listening giving specific kinds of feedback -is an essential factor in doctor-child or piirsnt-child com munication, according to Dr. Wender. Feedback should clarify the child's hidden meaning, as in the exarnple of the kindergarten pictures; identify for the child the feelings he shows; and suggest sug-gest emotions you suspect he feels. THE DOCTOR who receives a sullen "Do you have to do that again?" when examining a child on morning patient rounds may respond by repeating the reasons for the exam. But, suggested Dr. Wender, an active listener might say: "I can see that you're sad today about being sick. What does that feel like?" Being an active listener is more helpful than criticizing, giving advice, or simply trying try-ing to mollify the chid, said the pediatrician. Active listening lis-tening teaches children self-awareness self-awareness by showing them what their emotions are; encourages en-courages them to take responsibility re-sponsibility for themselves; and promotes warmth and closeness in a relationship. "ONCE A child realizes what his feelings are. he starts developing his own solutions, usually more effective effec-tive than those we could offer," Dr. Wender said. "It's sometimes appropriate appro-priate and necessary for the adult to be the advisor, the criticizer, the explainer. But by always being such we assume a higher status than the child. That cuts off some types of communication, when we should be promoting communication." |