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Show Strict Self-Control Necessary for Success in Society TO succeed in society, to make and keep friends, to have social leadership, you must have solf-contro!. solf-contro!. Tho kind of self-control necessary nec-essary is self-control in small things. You may have the other kind of self-control self-control tho kind that makes it possible pos-sible for you to have an arm set without with-out taking anaesthetics without a whimper or to go through a fire panic with apparent calmness. Thlg Is splendid, splen-did, and If you havo it you arc to bo congratulated, but tho kind you need to make a social siiceess Is iho ktnrl of self-control that makes it possible to conceal petty annoyances when they come, to bldo Irritation over another's an-other's thoughtlessness, to overlook accidents that are sure to happen when you arc entertaining tho upsetting up-setting of a cup of tea' or the breaking break-ing of a bit of bric-a-brac. At no time does tho woman who does her bit In society need so much control as when she is "receiving" either ln her own home at a small at homo or as one of a large receiving Hno at a large reception. The Ideal hostess Is perfectly uniform in her show of cordiality. Sho does not gush over ono favorite friend only to pass another acquaintance by coolly. Tho woman who would show any prejudices preju-dices or personal animosity by tho manner of her greeting any one when receiving simply shows Ignorance. The hostess must bo a veritable woll-sprlng woll-sprlng ot self control. In fart, very often the whole success of a party depends de-pends on the serene composuro of that very Important lady. Not to show ono'a annoyance, when that annoyanco 13 genuine gen-uine and probably Just, Is no easy matter. mat-ter. It may bo that ono of your guests at a dinner party proves himself to possess a cruder naturo than you had thought, and recounts a story or an Incident not of tho sort that you would wish to have repeated at your board. Your first Instinct, no doubt, would bo to show your annoyance. You wish In this way to Indicate to your other guests your dlsapprpval. Yot to do that would bo a breach of hospitality, alnco tho offender Is your guost and Is for tho time being as deserving of your kindness a.i any one clso. Though your ptiltea may bo tingling It Is your role to appear ap-pear calm and to chango tho conversation conversa-tion and cover up tho breach as soon as possible. Shorter Dinner Novr. George Washington and his Revolutionary Revolu-tionary contemporaries habitually dined for at least two hours and thon lln-gerotl lln-gerotl at tho dinner tablo for at leaBt nn hour longor. Sometimes hi hospitable hospita-ble households ln old Philadelphia and Now York tho host or hostess made the movo for tho guests to rlao from the dinner tablo only in tlmo to lot tho servants set it for Bupper, This custom of dining for several hours wan distinctly distinct-ly English. In that country a contury and a half a.o. and ln the American colonies aa well, two or threo waa tho fashlonablo dining hour and among perrons per-rons who had sulilcicnt lolsuro tho remainder re-mainder of the afternoon was glvon ovor to the Important function of fcoding, mingled with conversation, the giving of toasts and plentiful drinking. Our dinners havo been steadily becoming be-coming shorter ever since thon. In eomo ways we may havo fallon from . "ace Blncc tho days when Washington was in the White House and tho batUo of Bunkor Hill had but recently been fought, but In this respect wo havo Improved. Im-proved. Wo now spend less tlmo ..athiff. A docada ago fashlonablo dinners still often lasted two hours although even then Fronch visitors here lamented that we should still bo following tho English lead ln dining Interminably. Nowadays among porsona who aro usually looked at for leadership dinner doos not last more than an hour. And thit hour limit to dlnnor applies to tho more or loss formal meal 'that wo call a dinner party. Lingering about tho dinner table is not so prevalent as It used to be. In cortaln circles this Is duo partl n the fact that drinking at dlnnor is not so grout as It used to bo. A French writer observing American mannors In Colonial tlmos obsorved that tho "mon remain at tablo too long In order to drink more than they should" and thon observed that tho womon withdraw boforo. "first, becauHO thoy havo something else to do." The English custom of the wonu'ii withdrawing with-drawing from tho dining room to tho drawing room Is losing favor. It Is moro usual now for tho men and womon alike to withdraw to tho drawing -00m as soon as dlnnor has been finished. Somo persons who enjoy dining In restaurants and hotels maho a practice I of lingering as long as posslblo ovor the dinner so as to on Joy as much as possible of tho entertainment provided by tho hotel or restaurant management. Whero thoro Is good music or a pleasing cabaret performance this Is not to bo wondered at, especially among those to whom dining din-ing In such a placo Is a treat. However, tho rule of the curtailed dinner hour applies ap-plies Just as much to dining ln public as to dining at homo. Somotlmos It In Impossible Im-possible to be sorved ln les3 than two hours ln a crowded restaurant, but to linger longer than that Is not customary. If you aro entertaining a friend at a dinner din-ner of this sort rcmcmbor that, although you may enjoy a long dlnnor, It Is qulto Hkoly that it Is fatiguing and boring to him. And remember, too, that the man who habitually holds down a chair and tablo when there aro other diners waiting wait-ing to tako It nevor Is doing tho courteous courte-ous thing to tho waiter or manager of the place whero he Is dining. Seating at Table. Ono of the hard duties for a man not ; accustomed to tho llttlo attentions of homo life to acquire Is that of seating 1 women at tabic. Yet he should not fall ( yr - to learn how to do this easily and almost as a matter of second nature. He should do it without flourishes and without ostentation. os-tentation. If there are moro women at tablo than men and there Is any question as to which woman to help first ho should always deride ln favor, not of the one for whom lie has a natural preference, pref-erence, but of tho older one. Having seated hor. if tho other one Is still unseated un-seated he should turn quickly to her and assist her. This he doos by standing at the back of her chair and gently pushing push-ing the chair in aa she takes her scat. If there. Is a rug he should watch that the legs of tho chair do not roll up the rug as he docs so. Some ostentatious and well to do persons have a aervant behind every chair when they dine. Thon obviously ho men of the parti are relieved ot tho duty of aiding tho womon. The servants attend to this for them. Even when thoro are not enough servants to provldo one for each guest It Is tho placo of such servants as thoro are to aid tho womon guests In taking tholr chairs Well trained servants In hotels and restaurants always attend to this oven when the women aro accompanied by men. About Chnlra. Tho question Is somotlmcs asked by young c'rls: "When I am making a formal call what sort of chair should I select ln the drawing room? Is It Incorrect for a young woman to take an easy chair?" 1 bcllevo it Is considered presuming by some persons for young women to take the lounge or "sofa" In the drawing draw-ing room of an older woman. However, How-ever, they need nqt tako the most uncomfortable un-comfortable chair. Tho thoughtful hostess, seeing her guest In a straight, small chair, will ask her to take a. moro luxurious one. "Do tako this chair. It seems more comfortable," she might say. But If tho guest declines to tako It thero tho matter should drop, It Is In bad taste to urge tho guest ln this matter and If you do so you may forco her to give up a chair that Is very comfortable to hor only to tako a kind of chair that she does not like. |