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Show fhuhiWpr IP AMERICA GOES BACKYARDIS11 This is going to be a backyard summer. The slogan is "See Your Own Landscaping First!" The gas and tire crisis is going to reintroduce to millions of Americans Ameri-cans the attractions of their own homes. Merchants report boom sales of hammocks, swings, lawn games, rustic furniture, porch comforts and outdoor grills. One big department store reports a run on shuffle board sets, croquet sets and archery equipment. equip-ment. Believe it or not it is even advertising "six-foot stilts as great fun for grown-ups." So many target games are being be-ing bought, together with the archery sets .yv question (y whether or T'oT no' n,ore Peo" y7ttX y P' won't be ) Y hurt at home Jf y than were f $vV""v formerly hurt 7 ) on lne Pen roads. People who have gone for life in their own backyards insist that they have discovered it possible to enjoy all the comforts they used to drive miles to get. With a 50 per cent cut in indigestion, no interference from the motorcycle cops and 90 per cent fewer family disputes. The great joy of spending an entire en-tire Sunday ,in one family group with no battles regarding detours is being widely discovered. And it is amazing how many people peo-ple are discovering that a hotdog cooked on a back- j . yard grill tastes Sy) oetter than the anes in the road- r wJT I jide stands. Not . yi to mention the additional exer- v ' cise setting up y ( J the grill, getting- V- W, the charcoal and 2 rushing for salve c ' lo apply to burned thumbs. Imaeine the comnlcte chanee in American habits: a whole Sunday without any interference by traffic lights! The fine thing about a charcoal grill is that it has no carburetor adjustments ad-justments and no defective windshield wind-shield wipers. And it hnt no body siiuratit or funny mi'j undt-r the chnntit. And this is what makes a charcoal grill such a genuine relief: you only use one to the yard and no woman driver is going to back into it. That the hold-out system of collecting col-lecting the income tax will go through is certain. Out of almost every man's salary a percentage will be deducted at the omce and turned over to Uncle Sam. Can you remember away back when the bookkeeping department in a business busi-ness house lived a normal life? Have you got a rubber stamp? You know how it tends to slow; Give it to your country now-Let now-Let it help to slow the foe! "General Spaatz Named Head oi AEF Air Forces." Headline. Eisenhower? . . . Nimltz? . . . Stratemeyer? . . . Spaatz? Boy, will this be confusing to the Germans! A rv i n ...Via ItiIIa o nAlrtViKnp tnr leaving the radio on too loudly ha? been let off with seven years l prison. The Judge must have lived in an apartment, too. Vresidrnt Koosrtelt nyt it miiy he neensary to confiscate nil auto lrei. The I'reudrnt now look at the common citizen and av, "7 uouldn't mind being in your shoe." If tire confiscations become a fact it may be necessary to reword that old campaign pledge: A two quart garage and four cars on every tire. THE WORRIED AL'TOIST I have four tires on my car They're all a little worn; And every night I have a fear They won't be there next morn. I pat each one and gently say "Goodnight, and bless your heart! Let's hope there'll be another week Before we have to part!" They seem to look at me and sigh, Before the doors I slam, "Well, anyhow, it's one more da) Unseized by Uncle Sam!" |