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Show tTDn (Cart's ! by Randy llanskat A clear case of clairvoyance Sunday's weather was quite frightening to someone like me who tends to melt in the rain. Unlike Gene Kelly, I don't like to go out and sing in the rain; I don't really like to go out at all. Instead I look for amusement indoors. I found myself rummaging through a box of papers in that search for amusement, and stumbled across an old school paper from back when I was in the sixth grade. It was dated February 21, 1972. The assignment for the social studies class eludes me, but I pieced together that we had to write about art occupation way back in the days before America was discovered. We could be anything we wanted, it seems, as long as we were in some European country sometime before 1492. Reading the paper gave me lots of laughs, especially some ironic portions which pertain to my present situation in Park City. Since it brightened up an otherwise gloomy day for me, I thought I would share my sixth-grade writing assignment with you. For the assignment I chose to be a reporter, working for The Daily Blab newspaper in Madrid, Spain. The story is titled, "The Trip Over to Mexico." Here it is, as written. Forgive some of the grammatical blunders. Give the kid a break it was only sixth grade ! Well, it all started about a year ago when I heard that some ships, rowboats to be exact, were leaving for a far off land called Mexico. I decided that my paper (the one that I work for). The Daily Blab, would have to be the first newspaper to set foot on this new land. But I had to act quickly because the ship was due to leave in an hour. So I got to work. First I had to go to my boss and tell him where J was going and that if I made it back from this mission that he would have to give me a raise or else I would quit. Secondly, I gathered up some extra clothes to take along with me. Now I was ready. Then I looked at my sundail and, wow, I only had a minute left and the docks were a mile away. I ran as fast as I could to get there and got there with 10 seconds left. But this time the rowboats were ahead of schedule. Sol jumped into the water, not even bothering to take off my shirt, and swam after the last boat as fast as I could. Pretty soon I had almost caught the boat, but then I saw a shark swimming up behind me. I tried to walk on water to escape. I tried to run on water. I gave a cry of "help," "help," "help" but it was no use, no one cared about me, waaaaaaaa! ! ! I thought I was doomed. I thought for sure I was going to get eaten by the shark and die. So then I took two Alka Seltzer. I got a sudden burst of hope and I turned around and badly manhandled the shark. I soon caught up to the boat and then I jumped in. The rowboats were very ordinary except for that they had covers slung up over the men rowing and over the rest of each boat. This voyage was one of the shortest 1 myself have ever taken. It was only two days long. This was because we acquired some of the fastest rowers in the land for the 10 boats we were using on the voyage. In this short period of time not much happened, but I will tell you the things that did happen. After the incident with the shark we were on our way. But near the end of the Jirst day we were about two thirds of the way to the new land and the water got very choppy. Then a couple of rowers on our boat dropped their oars and bent over the side of the boat and got quite sick.' Soon crews on all of the boats seemed to get sick. By the middle of the next day the boats were moving at quite a slow clip. Then all of the sudden one of the other boats ran aground and sunk. So all of the people from that boat swam over to our boat and got in. The boat I was in was just barely above the water when one of the men sighted land. Unfortunately it wasn't the same land we were looking for. But just ground the corner was the land of "Mexico. " When we got to land I placed The Daily Blab's flag into the ground on the beach and our newspaper was the first newspaper to ever set foot on this new land. By the way, when I got back home my boss gave me a raise! . THE END Now you may think that stunk, but I kind of liked it, 12 years later. And in reading it a couple of ironies struck me. I don't have any idea why I picked newspaper .reporter as my occupation. Why didn't I pick explorer, or sailor? I never wanted to work at a newspaper. Even later in life in college I didn't major in journalism, I majored in advertising. ; Yes, but just as in some obscure Twilight Zone episode, here I am working at a newspaper all these years later. Eerie music, please. And to top it off I got a raise last week, just as in the story. Let's hope I don't have to "badly manhandle" any sharks in the near future. |