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Show dialed a wrong number Telephone a marvelous invention keep something as important as her first name from me. Then the mystery caller and I get to play "what number did you dial? mable phone, I've goofed a lot more often. It used to take at least seven buttons to get a wrong number. Now I can call the wrong person with just one button. In fact, by pressing a single button, I can get a long-distance wrong number. If technology continues to improve, im-prove, in a few years I'll be able to program my phone to dial wrong numbers even when I'm not home. t T KEVIN CUMMINGS Correspondent The telephone is a marvelous invention. in-vention. It allows you to contact a distant relative in just seconds. It gives you access to up-to-the-minute (and frequently wrong) weather forecasts. It allows total strangers to intrude on your life completely at random. I'm not talking about telephone solicitors (although they do rank high on the list of people I'd like to see unemployed.) I'm talking about wrong numbers. The typical conversation con-versation goes something like this. "Hello," I answer, fully expecting expec-ting the voice on the other end to be Ed McMahon telling me that I've finally won his sweepstakes. 4 ' Darlene? ' "There's no Darlene here. "Darlene's not there?" "No, there isn't any Darlene at this number. ' "Are you sureV It's that last question that really gets me. I've lived at this address for over two years. In that time I've lived with my wife and our young son. Neither of them is named Darlene. I know my wife well enough to know that she wouldn't that it was all just a joke and sooner or later I'll admit to being Darlene. Worst of all, though, is being the person who dialed the wrong number. For instance, the other day I tried to call my wife at home. I wasn't paying attention and dialed some mutant combination of the digits in my home phone. "Hello, lover," I said cheerfully as soon as I heard the phone picked up. The long silence on the other end told me I had made a serious mistake. My stomach turned to ice P and the only thing that kept me I from slamming down the handset I was the paralysis that suddenly I gripped my entire body. I "Uh, hi," a small voice finally I answered. "My mommy told me I not to talk to strangers. Are you a I stranger?" I "I think I must be," I agreed as I I hung up. I I was so embarrassed (and afraid I I'd blow it again) I didn't use the I phone for three days. I "Once there was a time when I I hardly ever dialed the wrong I number. Since I got a program- I "Is this 555-9952?" the caller asks. "No, it's 555-3939." "Are you sureV "I guess the caller figures that if I'm stupid enough to continue the conversation, it's possible that I'm too stupid to know the names of my family or the digits in my phone number. At this point I usually hang up. Worse than the person who dials the wrong number once, is the person per-son who insists on calling back two or three times. Maybe they think |