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Show I Deceptive Appearances. "Who Is that dignified, pretentious look-in;: look-in;: individual?." "Oil, he's a waiter." "Compare him with the courteous waiter, wait-er, all smiles and bows and so accommodating." accommo-dating." "He's not a waiter; he's only the proprietor" pro-prietor" Going Some. -The narrator was In the midst of his story. "Our hero decided to leave Ireland, Ire-land, and one dny he picks up and comes to America." "Would ye mind v.altln' a second?" Interrupted one of the parly. "How did 'e manage f make the thrip in wan day?" The Danger Line. " ' "If I had one wife," remarked the teacher, "I'd be a monogamist; two wives, a bigamist. Now. if I had more than two wives, what would I be?" "Crazy," and Willie remained after school. " He Had Been to Pwice. "What, side dishes have you?" asked the newly married man. "Well, sir," replied the waiter, "we ' have rice " "Ye gods! Will this persecution nevci cease!" and grasping his bride's arm he hurriedly left the cafe. Tho Abode of Eternal Rest. "What lino do you carry?" asked hk now landlady. huvlng been informed thai hf was a traveling man. "Sleeping devices." ho replied. "I'm In need of something In that line. Perhaps we can come to terms." "Perhaps. I don't wish to brag, but ; can safely say that once you sleep In one you'll never sleep In any other." "What llrm do you represent?" "Undersoil & Co., manufacturers of coffins, cof-fins, caskets, etc." Withered in the Bud. Spinster (to tramp who asked for food Poor man! 'Tis cruel to - have one's manly aspirations blighted in tho bloom! Tramp Ah. 'tis true! But did yours ever bloom, Miss 7 Working Out a System. The lunatic, having completed fracinp the scroll work In the carpet design wilt his linger, arose from his knees with n sigh. "What's- matter?" asked a fellow In-male, In-male, "Ah." said Ihc lunatic, "my labors arc in vain. Thrice have I traced that scroll work around the room only to find In the end that I was no nearer liberty thar when I began." Spring Buds. Just a little pimple. On a dainty chin; .lust a little sassafras And she's herself agin. |