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Show Uncle Ikes Obsequie's In a little burg "down East," which shall be nameless, lived Uncle Ike, who was, and for a long time had been, easily Lord High Neversweat of the Sons of Rest. Once upon a time the industrious in-dustrious citizens, tiring of Uncle Ike's phenomenal laziness, and monumental worthlessness, serves notice upon him, that unless un-less he, on or before a specified date, found a job and went to work, he would be considered a "dead one," and his obsequies duly pulled off. This never phased' Uncle Ike, who kept serenely se-renely on his untired way. So, at the appointed time, he was brought before the self-appointed vigilance committee, which proceeded to hold an inquest, declare him a corpse, decree that he be interred forthwith. So a coffin was produced. Uncle Ike was carefully placed therein in proper like attitude, and a procession, proces-sion, formed headed for cemetery the village dray answering for a hearse. Enroute the procession was met by Farmer Josh, going in on an errand. Josh hailed the driver of the dray and inquired who was dead. "Well" replied the driver, "ther aint nobody to say really dead, but Uncle Ike Neversweat is in the coffin there, and we calculate on buryin him today, as things is a little dull around town, and he's got so pesky lazy he's just the same as dead and wont ever wash himself him-self or even hustle around for a job. "But ye bein't goin to bury him alive, be ye?" "Sure thing, if you can consider consid-er a fellow like him alive." "Oh, ye ought not to do that. Tell ye what, if ye'll just let im go I'll bring 'im in a load 'o corn. That'll feed 'im a good while," Uncle Ike took interest enough to slightly raise his head and inquire: in-quire: "Say, Josh, be the corn shelled?" "Well no, I- aint got none shelled, right now." Drive on there Bill," said Uncle Ike with a tired wave of the hand as he wearly sank back into the coffin. j |
