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Show Expressing His Feelings. "In combating the diseases carried by the fly, it Is computed that $157,-800,000 $157,-800,000 is spent in the country each year." said a gray-haired practitioner In the congress ot physicians. "Mr. Chairman," came from one of the new recruits in the rear of the hall, "1 move that we pass a vote of thanks to the fly." The Place to Sleep. Church I see it is said that a botanist in Philadelphia has succeeded succeed-ed in putting a plant to sleep. Gotham In Philadelphia, did you say? "Yes, In Philadelphia." "Don't suppose they'll ever be able to wake it, then." A Planter, All Right. Church This is my uncle from the South. Gotham Oh, indeed! Glad to meet him, "Pie's a Southern planter." "Oh, yes a tiller of the soil?" "Oh, no; he's a Florida undertaker." under-taker." His Ambition. "Young man, what profession do you expect to follow when, you grow up?" "I'm going to be a doctor," an-" swered the young man, taking out a notebook and pencil. "May I count on you to save your appendix forme?" Judge. The Age of Luxury. "I didn't know, Hiram, that furniture furni-ture was that expensive in the city," remarked Mrs. Meadowgrass. "Who said it was?" asked Hiram. "The Weekly Gazette says a millionaire mil-lionaire gave a chair to the university univer-sity costing $20,000." A PESSIMIST. She Our new minister is always preaching about Hades. Pie Must be he's married. No Doubt True. Of men who never work a lick, You doubtless know a few; But turn 'em loose in a brewery, And trouble they would brew. Pays to Advertlst. "Then you don't believe in business men getting together?" "I didn't say that. But I do believe that one page of advertising will bring more actual business than four banquets." Merely a Suggestion. The hypnotist had conquered the most stubborn of his subjects by the power of his will and eye. "John," meekly remarked his wife, "would you mind trying your powers on the baby? I can't get Mm to sleep." Nothing to Talk About. "Is Mrs Crabson enjoying good health now?" "Her health is good, but she doesn't enjoy it. That woman is lost without a symptom." Very Likely. Edythe Why is it that little men always marry large women? Estelle I don't know, unless It is that the little fellows are afraid to back out of the engagements. False Tips. "Some of the tips you get over the wires are fakes." "Yes. tips that you might properly call tele-phoney." Modern Facilities. "Do you live in the city or the country?" coun-try?" . "My residence is what you might call hyphenated. I'm a commuter." Indifferent, "What sort of-a man is Chubblns?" "The kind v. ho says. Go as far as you like.' but never offers to help par expenses." |
