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Show By Brian Gray Six months from now, Cyclops will announce the winner of the Dumb Quote of the Year Award. But last week a woman made an astounding comment, making her the front-runner for this year's trophy. The upcoming tax initiatives have led to a flurry of Dumb Quote contenders. Proponents of the initiatives have already said such silly things as labeling the PTA "a socialistic organization" organi-zation" or claiming that teacher salaries only comprise 50 percent per-cent of the education budget. But this week's Dumb Quote comes from the other side, those folks opposing the tax initiatives. initia-tives. The lady in question is Darlene Gubler, an otherwise sane individual who is president of the state's PTA. Gubler could have suggested 18 very good reasons for defeating the initiatives. initia-tives. Instead she delivered the following whopper: "What we need to make people understand," she said, "is that passage of these initiatives will breed communism. It will force out those who are underprivileged, and there will be no programs left for them. They will become resentful and they will 'rebel." I wish Lyndon Johnson would have met Mrs. Gubler. If Mrs. Gubler is correct, LBJ shoud not hve sent troops to Vietnam' he should have dropped algebra textbooks instead. No, Mrs. Gubler. The cancellation of a slow-reader English class or an auto mechanic's course will not lead to an illiterate band of potential Ho Chi Minn's. At the worst, it will lead to an underclass of citizens who favor earphones over novels or Buck Owens over Ernest Hemingway. The sad part of Mrs. Gubler's statement is that she missed a golden opportunity to explain why the tax initiatives are a bad idea. If Cyclops had Mrs. Gubler's microphone, he'd nix the Joseph Stalin talk and say something like this: Cyclops: "The people pushing the tax initiatives say their passage will be good for the children, shoving out the bureaucrats bureauc-rats and leaving more money for the teachers. But this won't happen. "Let's say a bureaucrat named John (salary, $38,000) loses his position with his local school district. John's job is to monitor moni-tor science programs, making sure the teachers are up to snuff and that the textbooks are adequate. In addition, John has used his knowledge to bring in $100,000 in federal grant monies for the purchase of microscopes and needed equipment. "Passage of the tax initiatives means some of the district personnel, including John, will be transferred. He won't be fired since he's a good employee and has seniority. With this seniority, senior-ity, John will move down and take Bill's spot as vice principal. "This is not good news for Bill, but he'll also have a job. With 18 years of experience, Bill will be demoted and take the place of a teacher with less seniority. But Bill's major is in physical education and all the P.E. teachers at his school have at least 18 years of experience, too. So Bill, who has a minor in English, takes the place of Joan, an energetic language arts major who has only taught for one year. "The end result is this. ..With John gone, science education might suffer and the taxpayers will lose $100,000 in federal grants; Bill is now teaching English, a class he frankly knows little about; and Joan, the effective and popular English teacher, is now out a job and in line at the taxpayer-funded unemployment unemploy-ment compensation office. "The net savings of these transfers is not the $38,000 that John earned at the district office. The net savings is the $14,000 Joan earned as a first-year teacher. And, with the loss of $100,000 in federal grant monies, the district and the taxpayers tax-payers are actually losing $86,000. "Now you tell me if this makes sense. You tell me if this is good for the children!" That's what Mrs. Gubler could have said. It's a scenario which would well occur if the tax initiatives are approved. In fact, Mrs. Gubler, the chance of this occurring is much better than the beginning of another Red Scare. |