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Show ROLLO-GLYPHICS By Klien Rollo I've been left handed all my life. At times its been a problem while on other occasions its been a blessing. I've developed, over the years, a pride of being left handed and as my wife can attest I notice everyone that is lefthanded, including those who perform on television. But the latest gimmick that has been announced is that we left handers are no longer going to suffer. We have been declared a minority and are now eligible for all the benefits commonly associated with such a title. But I rebel. I don't want to be coddled, I don't want special privileges, I don't want manufacturers to be forced to produce special products to fit my needs, I don't want the government to undertake extensive and costly studies to determine what's the matter with me, I don't want a bureaucracy to be established to provide special activities, demonstrations, demon-strations, etc. in my behalf. I'm happy the way I am. Oh, it's true that during the course of my life there have been some frustrating experience - the greatest of which was the time when they tried to make a right hander out of me in school. There are certain things I can't do as well as right handers. They've always told me that scissors were made for right handers, but I've always been able to use them. I rebel. I don't want people trying to change the way people talk. I don't object to people referring to "being out in left field," and have never found that offensive to me. Being left handed is just not all that bad. It's unique. I like being unique. Being left handed is the closest in my life that I've come to being unique. I've participated in a few sports and back, way back in my high school days, I found that there was an advantage to being left handed -- at least until the opponents discovered why I moved better to the left than to the right. Being able to bat left handed has some distinct advantages. IJ puts you about three feet closer to first base and efforts are being made to convert batters to swing from the left side. I'm perfectly happy and content to be left handed. I'm willing to make the changes that are necessary. I'm willing to write on the right hand side of a desk. I'm willing to bear all those difficult problems of being left handed. Just keep the studies away. By all means keep the government out of the picture. I'm left handed, I'm proud of it. Please, oh please, let me suffer in peace. |