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Show iforjgues I I iayWamsley ClfCCK8 J A good friend of mine is named Daniel Webster Dworetsky, and, like his namesake, he spends a lot of time analyzing words and their meanings in society. With lots of time on his hands (D.W. is a retired umbrella frame maker and presently a Bic flipper), Daniel has come up with a plan he feels will clear the air a bit concerning a lot of noise made recently by homosexuals. "The whole problem lies in the description these people have taken upon themselves," D.W.D. says. "The crux of the matter is the word 'Gay'." The word "gay", he goes on to explain in his broken English, conjures up favorable images in most peoples' minds. We are so used to thinking good thoughts about being happy and 'gay' that we find it hard to think evil of thinking gay. So sub-conciously, sub-conciously, or so D.W.D. says, a lot of people in the country are standing up and shouting for 'gay rights' and abusing those who think differntly due to these subconcious notions that 'gay' is okay. "It has only been 10 years or so," Dworetsky explains, "since being gay has evolved from being happy to being queer." We need to find a new word to tag on the "gays," he says. And being the old dictionary freak that he is, Daniel has come up with a few. He says a word that will help swing the pendelum the other way is "prehaliborosis". He says there would be fewer banners ban-ners being paraded in front of Anita Bryant every time she appeared publicly if people were standing up for their right to be "prehaliborotic." This word, D.W.D. says, conjures up notions of a disease, something to be stamped out before it spreads, much more descriptive than the deceptive 'gay'. D.W.D. said he just doesn't buy a lot of the arguments used by those who are prehaliborotic. When they say, "some people are just born that way," or "you can't change it-some are and some aren't," Daniel just points to the works of Helen Keller and George Washington Carver and Albert Einstein and asks "Were they just born that way?" Daniel says he is from the school of thought that says it is the set of the sails and not the gales that determine which way the ship will go. Other words could be used, he says, a few might be: "Yutchie" (the way this word rolls off the tongue is unpleasant, un-pleasant, D.W.D. says.) "Enviropew" (this conjures up visions of messing around with that which is good, our expert claims.) The list goes on and on, but the end result of D.W.D's work is the same: return the word gay to its normal status. Dworetsky also said he was dismayed at Pres. Carter's recent remarks in an interview that he "did not view homosexuality as a threat to the family." "I would just like to see any two have a family." D.W.D. said in response. I enjoy being around Daniel Webster Dworestky. In fact he's trying to get me to read the dictionary. I've tried that beforethe plot is a Tittle thin, tut the cast of characters is unbelievable. |