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Show Some new holidays to ponder over It's "I've got a gripe time" again, and, . boy, do I have a gripe. In fact, I have to wonder if there isn't some kind of conspiracy going on among those who make the laws in this country, a conspiracy against the average working man. BRUCE The federal and the Bureau of Land Management buildings were also locked; in fact, if only I could have been there, I'll bet the White House was locked. The Carters were probably in there hiding somewhere. But the frightening thing is that the conspiracy is growing. Others are joining in. I don't know how, but somehow bankers must be tied in with bureaucrats. All the banks were locked even tighter than usual Monday. I don't know what it is, maybe the slick suits, but I've always associated bankers with bureaucrats and law-makers anyway. Also, the occurrences of these pseudo-holidays pseudo-holidays are on the increase. Lawmakers Law-makers are becoming like florists; they are inventing holidays. Florists come up with Grandparents Day as another excuse to buy flowers, and law-makers are coming up with holidays to give them another day off. After all, there's a President's Day, St. Patricks Day, Memorial Day, Labor Day (with no laboring) Veteran's Day and a host of others. There are more holidays every year. So I have an idea, if only my publisher will go for it. I'm going to suggest a few holidays of my own holidays when newspaper offices can close. And I'm going to start this . week. This week is National Newspaper Week, and I would suggest that all newspapers close down for the entire week. Let us lock our doors and turn out the lights. Now I officially declare Nov. 30 as the birthday celebration of Mark Twain, a journalist and writer. I'm sure he would appreciate the acknowledgement. And July 21 is now officially Ernest Hemingway Day, a day when all newspaper offices will close and all editors and reporters will have the day off. I'm going to enjoy it . I really will, but I won't wear a slick, dark suit. Monday was Columbus Day, and even though Columbus didn't really discover America, nor prove that the world was round (it wasn't even his original idea), all the federal, state and county offices were closed. Monday started out bad for me anyway. Mondays are just naturally bad, expecially now that I have to wake before the sun does. But Mondays when all the government offices are closed are even worse. I slammed my nose against more locked doors than the average Fuller brush man does in an entire week. First, there was the Ninth District Court, locked and dark; then the Juvenile Court, also locked and dark. Then there was the Cedar City Police Department. I'm sure there were some of our men in blue somewhere, but they weren't in the office; it was locked. There were some officials in the city offices, but all of them were pouting because they were the only government workers in the whole town in their place. The county building in town was locked up entirely. I couldn't even get in the front door. I don't know if the assessor, the building inspector, the jailer, the justice-of-the-peace or the sheriff were in there; but, if they were, they certainly weren't showing their faces. |