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Show I A Line o9 Type or Two 'Lord, -what fools these mortals V: 1 4 . B. L. T. One may believe that the "gift of healing heal-ing ' is nothing more than the application of imaginary balm to nonexistent disease, dis-ease, but if one says so he gets into a Jolly row with people who consider an open mind synonymous with credulity. Our own state of mind was accurately described by Charles A. Dana: "I don't believe In ghosts," said he. "but I've been afraid of them all my life." Small Town Affliction. (From the Ute, Ia., Independent.) The lyceum curse last seasen did not meet expenses, owing to the flu situation. situa-tion. There should be some provisions made for entertainments along the order of the lecture curse. And Yet if She Were Off Pitch Doc Would Pan Her Con Fuoco. Sir: Old Doc Parker, musical critic extraordinary, ex-traordinary, of the Boston Transcript, after exposing the shortcomings of our only Geraldine. winds up with: "Above most of the rest of us, the singer of great possessions may not touch pitch and escape es-cape undefiled." What is the poor girl going to do? E. B. B. While he was about it, whv didn't Senator Chamberlain ask Mr. Baker about the elaborate shelf which the administration administra-tion built for General Wood in the south? "Hope Springs Eternal." (Prom the Quincy Herald.) The clerk read an invitation extended the aldermen to attend the twenty-first annual dance, under the auspices of Bartenders' Bar-tenders' league, at Eagles' hall, after the council meeting, and on motion of Alderman Alder-man Lepper, seconded by Alderman Geers. the invitation was accepted with thanks. A "masquerade pie supper" was giver, in Paris, 111., last week. The kiil of pie used Is not mentioned, but it must have been either cranberry or sweet potato. Glass Houses. Sir: Tt is most ungrateful of llthry editors to knock proofreaders. A proofreader proof-reader with wtiom I am more or less acquainted recently put the sharp point of his pencil on the second "o" in "The Toung Visitors" and changed it to an "e." When the line was printed the "o"' was still an "o" and another error had been added for good measure. Say, if I should tell all I know about lithry editors but I won't; the revelations would be too awful. Calcitrosus. "The bullet passed through her head and punctured several other articles in the room." Galesburg Ptepubllcan-Reg!s-ter. Very happily put. Why Strong Men Weep. Sir: As the elevator stopped at the fourth floor, the operator waved back the woman who was about to get on. "Four out,' he proclaimed. Two men got out. The woman stood Btill. "YVhatcha waiting for?" asked the operator. oper-ator. "I'm waiting for the other two to get out." she said. Main Street. If A. 'Villain, ticket agent of the C. P. in San Francisco. Is the man who always says "Uppers only," one of the Pana miners who signs himself Geo. Stone-burner Stone-burner may be the lterson who puts the slate in your coal. 3tUl Carrying On, Sir: As I jolt across the commonwealth of Massachusetts. I lift my eyes from time to time to thp New Haven s printed exhortation at the end of the car: "Preserve "Pre-serve your life and limbs that you may serve your country. The most vital need of the United States Is human energy to carry on tne war.' Apparently, Senator Ivodge's constituency, too, is etiil fighting the war. Van. The Young Maple. But yesterday my maple tree. Like Joseph, was most fair to see; A many-coiored cost it w-ore. And laushed beside my cottage door. Alas! this morning it is bare. Not one gay leaf to shield It there; The windy brethren of the night Have left it but a sorry sight. Yea. they have sold my lovely tree Into a base captivity: And yet I know Its dream9 of power! And they shall heal this dismal hour. My tree shall live to cheer and bless Far days with shsde and loveliness. Refusing not Ha bounty aweet To all who crowd about Its feet. For it shall wax both strong and great. Shall master all the wiles of fate. Until, majestic, full of years And dignities, it disappears And vet remains! Remembered long. Inspiring many a bard to song. Its gentle soul shall prove to men That even maples live again. I.aura Blackburn. Sposkitiff of Birds (From "The Notebooks of a Spinster I,ady." There arrived In time for Tuncheon a clever antiquary and country squire, one Mr. Peacock possessing a voice not unlike un-like that of the bird so named, marred, mar-red, ns T afterwards henrd. to a Miss Woodcock, residing at Snipe Hall." "Fracture of Sku!! Is Blamed on Wood Alcohol." Tribune. How, we are asked, could we have overlooked such a terrific kick? , Who Wants the Beautiful Marie? (From the Fori Wayne Journal- Inset te. Wanted A beaut If ul maid wishes em -plovinent as housekeeper In widower's home. ddrc Marie Mullsr. Speeding Up in Indiana. ftlr: At the Whiting. Tnd.. postoffice most of the sin mped envelopes have no mucilage on them, but the y. I. at the stamp window lets you have a dab it her gluepot free of charge. Kervooly -voodcer, the service Is not what It used ; to bftl M. R. S. I, To Inspire his students with contempt for the word "gotten." writer- a oontrlb I to F. P. A.. Professor Slone used to say. I "Gotten, gotten; rh vines with rotten." The Jlnle met hod of education nlwava has got ten result a or, we should snv. ! got results How many people would i -'-uiemhci- the number of dae In April rr October had thev not lenrned "Thirtv days hath September"? Paste this, then, on your desk calendar: "fJotten, gotten. Rhymes with rotten." Then there Is -hat locution, "back of." Put that In rhyme, t oo ; Bnck of. back of, Showa a lack of. No doubt you can think of a number of oth-r Jinulc that would help to make n Purlst a Primer. Preciaely. Sir: A Hyde Park delicatessen man CO. V.. IVrd) advertiser runong other edibles edi-bles "Angle Food." !o you opine that some toor fish might make a squ.ire meal of that'.' I kelle EB. M ood. How Cotdd Shn Lose? S'r From the HssslCtcd ads: "Men Two, to work With Imgr . Ar Cd fnrm, ke Forest , 111 ' WiO w nKrn "u will mnke tht heading head-ing "An -pen Shop." I-ora she win? W. B. No, Genevieve, "Nl rangier" Lewis Is not the miners renri-i.-nintlve. 1 to wrestles in another field. |
