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Show 'Porky' sequel doesn't bring home the bacon Vide news by Rick Brough ' r) ' 1 " ' Many . of the' films you've read about in the "' Record's Quickies. ; movie reviews now are available on video cassettes. To refresh your memories of the movies, entertainment entertain-ment critic Rick Brough has recycled recycl-ed his capsule summaries and lists some current video offerings below. Porky's Revenge r That's it. There's not a glimmer of humor left in the "Porky's" series ; and it's time to put the old sow to , ". sleep.': This time around, the gambling-den owner Porky (Chuck Mitchell) is operating from a riverboat and he's pressuring Pee; Wee and the guys to throw a state basketball tournament. (Their coach owes the Porker money. ) In the rest of the plot, the horny ; . Pee Wee (Dan Monahan) yearns for a Swedish exchange student,-but - succeeds only in getting depantsed, derobed (at graduation!) and demoralized; the kids reunited stern gym-coach Miss Balbricker (Nancy Parsons) with her chubby lover from high school; and, at their most appealing, the gang blackmails a teacher who's threatening to flunk Meat (Tony Ganios) out of the basketball game. (They'd be better off without him, since he has a habit of punching our opposing players.) The theme of "Porky's Revenge" . is that everyone is hung up on sex,-' the kids are moronic, and middle; age adults making , love are pathetically 'disgusting. And-, remember that teens 'who. aren't pretty like our heroes ' (Porky's I dumb,' buck-toothed daughter) are to be sneered at. In the end, of course, the gang destroys Porky's showboat. Send this movie to the bottom with it. y2Forced Vengeance It's the plot' that's forced, but Chuck Norris leaps and kicks his way through it ,as though it's a familiar dance number. As usual, he's out for revenge his fatherly ' employer (David Opatoshu) is a Hong Kong casino owner wiped out by the gambling syndicate. Norris fights off a small platoon of foes every 10 minutes and has a final pro- longed battle with the biggest villain. How does he manage to outfight out-fight these guys who look like Frigidairesonlegs? There is enough action to satisfy Norris junkies, but other viewers will find themselves nodding ' through the bland story directed by James Fargo. , The only two ' : novelties: Norris is constantly conspicuous con-spicuous in his Stetson bat, which the villains usually trample on to start, a brawl; and the, "brainy" heavy is revealed as a half-senile old Chinese hypnotized by. Flintstorie cartoons on TV. 7 , '-.'. ' , The Slugger's Wife V: Neil Simon's latest movie story looks as, if he were peeved with the romanticism of "The Natural" especially es-pecially the, parts . where Robert Redford is, inspired by. his ;love to slam the ball out of the park. . Michael O'Keefe is a ballplayer for the Atlanta Braves who becomes smitten with a nightclub singer (Rebecca de Momay) and begins hitting homers to impress her. But after they're married, his use of her as a good luck charm becomes possession. She's pressured to be his shadow at all the games, and when she absents herself, O'Keefe uses his choked-up performance as an excuse to lay guilt trips on her. Li. ii I IC' Uk The Pig is back! The dastardly Porky Wallace (Chuck Mitchell, left) has his old friends, the Angel Beach. Six, right where he wants them. The movie is okay as an illustration of; "woman-on-a-pedestal" chauvinism. De Mornay is forced to give up her own career but (small comfort) Hubby tells her she's the reason for his success. . '. There's little else to interest you, however, in this bland movie. Both ; leads sound like gawky teenagers. O'Keefe is better playing characters with some self-irony and awareness, so you wonder what he's doing playing Andy Hardy. De Mornay has a nice, sensual huskiness in some of the intimate scenes and is a sexy bandstand presence, but she sounds like an abashed cheerleader most of the time. Simon's script doesn't do much to help them. His famous one-liners get no better than having O'Keefe say to his love, "I couldn't take my eyes off your voice." "Slugger's Wife" doesn't work as a romance or a story of Careers vs. Love. (The movie is based on the idea that both lovers get off on delivering in front of a crowd, but ironically the scenes in the nightclubs night-clubs or in the ballpark are perfunctory and lifeless, as directed by Hal Ashby. ) Simon also throws in a few sour, satiric comments about the scramble to win (again, as if to refute "The Natural"). He touches all the bases for plot ideas, but the movie is no homer. |