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Show Ii JUST FOR FUN Hl Tough on Texas. . H A young Lleutonant from a New H Yori regiment surveyed tho Texan H scenery gloomily and reflected up- H on his great distance from tho Hj lights of Broadway. Tho smoko H from tho smelter and tho swirling Hh sand from the low-lying hills hail Hl spoiled tho Lieutenant's disposl- H "Tell me," said an editor from Hj El Paso, "isn't there somo hidden H purpose behind thld mobolization?" H "Thero 13," replied tho IJeutcn- H ant; 'we are going to forco Moxl- H j co to take back Texas." Success H J Magazine. Hk ' Hot-Day Humor. HT "Do you realize that tho Ico H , -water tank you have Just drunk H t from may bo swarming with mlc- H '' robes?' ' asked tho fussy health, H faddist, just &s wo had finished 1 refreshing oursolf. H' "Yes I do," wo answorod, defl- H antly. Wo mopped our porsplrlng H face as we spoko and attempted to H pull our wilted collar together In H front, for dignity's sake. H "And aren't you afrrJd of thoso H microbes in tho ice water?" "No, sir; wo aro Jealous of H thorn." Cleccland Plain Dealer. H H Different. H Tho Candidate (having quoted H the words of an eminent statesman H iu Hupport of an argument) And, H ' mind you. these arc not my words; H this 13 not merely my opinion, a These are words of a man who h knows what he's talking about. London Sketch. Getting His Way. Visitor You used to want your feon Herbert to go out wost and go to farming, but I seo you've let him have his way at last and sent him to college Mr. Muutoburn Huh! Think I didn't know what I was doing? After Af-ter his rour years at college his allowance will stop, and he'll naturally na-turally have to go to Kansas to bo a harvest hand.--ChIcago Tribune. Horco Laughs. Ho was a raw recruit. Just enrolled en-rolled in a crack cavalry regiment, and paying his first visit to tho riding rid-ing school. "'Ere's yor horse." said the Instructor. In-structor. I The recruit advanced, took tho brldlo gingerly and examined his mount with great care, "What's It got this dtrap round it for?" ho asked, pointing to the girth. "Well," explained tho Instructor, Instruct-or, solemnly, "you see. all our horses 'ave a keen sense of humor, an as they BOmetlmeB 'avo audden fits of laughter when they seo the rocruiU, wo put bauds round 'em to koop 'em from burst-In' burst-In' their sides !" TltBits. The Morning Quarrel. "You forgot something," called his wifo from tho window. He came back. "What did I forgot?" "You forgot to slam tho door." He slammed, it. Washington Herald. |