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Show Things Generally True We amateurs cannot reali.e our absurdity. ab-surdity. Just after he is shaved, nearly any man Is a little pretty. It is generally said or an elderly man, "He is notional." " How young people like to say they are "pessimistic." These solicitous people always have something to sell. You can't convince a rainier that a railroad man really works. I II is bad enough to hear a cat putr. but a purring woman is worse. Cood Intentions rarely survive, the headaches that actuate them. A man who clerks In a cigar slorc should not smoke a pipe while on duty. If you want to keep out of the poor house just quit some of your roollsh ways. Men arc so naturally wicked that they have no use for a parrot unless It swears. When jou "talk" about people behind be-hind their backs, do you givothema square deal? When a man makes a bold stand for right, his fool friends try to talk him out of It. A man is never so clover at running excuses as when his wife wants him to go to church. There is ouo thing worse than an amateur lecture, a lot of amateurs reading "papers." It is dilllcult for a man to "make good" In any public otllce, so much is expected of him. An ordinary chicken would throw a lit If it were to meet some of those "Kaster novelties." When a girl gets a Job down town, and wears a pencil In her back hair she thinks rI;o is it. You havo probably noticed that militiamen usually think they know a great deal about war. If there Is anything mean that is said about a man and every woman says It Isn't so, that means he Is not a married man. You have probably met the bore, who, no matter what the attraction, always recalls a better one. Another elgn of old age Is when you can see more ants and chiggcrs than woods and sunshine In a picnic. When a man lives a lire, if tlieio Is a woman relative In the room, she Is bound to oiler you some suggestion. There Is this much to be said about the men. Some very line lisli havo been caught by very Infeilor bait. When a woman buys glasses, she usually says It Is due to astigmatism, but It Is often due to oldagclsm A country woman icgards a compliment com-pliment very much as the average woman docs a husband's explanation. There is little patriotism in a piesi-dcntlal piesi-dcntlal election, but in a local election there Is nothing but a bad quarrel. 'What has become of tho old fashioned fash-ioned man who said to a visitor when dinner was ready: "Setup and have a blteV" Some women get their washing out so early Monday motiilug, that there Is a suspicion tha' they begin the night before. When a man does nothing, and, hi addition, says that ho Is "Interested In mines," that Is another sure indication indi-cation that ho Is worthless. |
