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Show CAP 1 EELLjy j:; LOOKING AHEAD He was discussing the people round about with his old landlady ' "They seem kindly enough peo! pie," he remerked. T The landlady sniffed. "You don't know them yet," she i I replied. ' ' "Oh, come," protested the lode-" er, "they're not bad. why, the chap who's got a little workshop down the road was asking about you ' today. Said you'd been ailing a lot ': lately. Is he a relative of yours?" "No," said the landlady, sharp. ;'' ly, "he's the undertaker." Tit-E;;j ri Magazine. MERMAID'S JUDGMENT He V.hy do you always call rr.e '' --a --a poor 6sh? Why, I can't even srim. She That's why I call you a pr "-. fish. A Different Matter Mrs. Hennessey No, Ma'am, rr.y ' boy Michael is not at home, ar.d in "'; any case he did not steal the bicycle. bi-cycle. It was Patrick Murphy. Visitor I don't know acythir-g about that. I'm the new visiti-.g ' -nurse. Mrs. H. And why did ye not say : so before? Mike! Ye can cc-.e " downstairs. It's the lady from the sick c!ub. Farm Journal. Mean Insinuation Babs I saw J3r.e yesterday, ar.i she's furious about the way her marriage was reported in the pa- a. pers. Doris Why, it ciir.'t mer.ticn he: ' ace. did it? Babs Yes. ir.direct'y. The paters stated that Miss Jar.e Oidan a-i Mr. Frederick Bro-.vn were married, mar-ried, the latter being a collector e! antiques. Stray Stores Magaiir.e. Musical Family S'.i.cgins Are there any musiciarj in your family? Wiggins Ra-ther! Why, my fa- -ther is an adept at blowing his c-a trumpet, and mother is equally expert ex-pert on harping on one string; pa- -. in-law has to play second fiddle, aai Aunt T.bitha leads a humdrum existence; ex-istence; uncle spends his time irj ' wetting his whistle, and Harry is fond of his pipes. Hartford Ttrr.es. TIMELY WARNING "Now remember, my dear, cir.r.er will be called promptly oa tin-.e." "What cf it?" - - "So if you are late you'll miss the soup and fish innings." Quite Possible Passenger (on crack express to porter) What is the matter with this train backing up and jerking forward in this awful way? "It's quite all right, sir," the por- -tor assured him in that soothing way that porters have. "I think -the' engineer is teaching his wife to drive." Meow! Noll I hear that you and Elmer are engaged, I don't suppose he told you that he was engaged to j lvio lust vent ? , Belle Well, dear, he did say something about there being things , in his past he was ashamed of, but he duln't go into details. j Stony Heart ; "He's not exactly the synM'"1'''-, synM'"1'''-, ic tvpe, is he?" : "Sympathetic? Why that p' ' wasn't born he was quarried! j The Question j j "Ah. good moinm', Mrs. Mnrp.t'. and how is ovorvlhin'?' j "Sine, mi' I'm havin" a great uv it between me husband and -t Jllre. If I keep me eve onjhe ' the other is sure to go out."' nn ' denoe Jinn nal. j t haiue of Finn Customer-What. my si"' . r' . ready? Yon said you'd finish " vou oi ked all night. . Tailor-Yerv true, sir, but I l1;'in woik nil mght -Farm Jour"."- |