Salt Lake Tribune | 1904-05-25 | Page 8 | Diehl's Bar

THERE was a man Gasoy whose front name was Pat, But when he was pinched he'd forgot for-got oven that. After awaking ills brain became clear From fumes of the whisky and vapors of beer. Ho sat with the mourners and fumbled his hat Till tho clerk road his name acd the Judge said, "Stand, Pat!" "Sura!" answored Casey, "Ol'm not wan to squeal , Bccauso a policeman brings mo to Judge Dlohl." "I meant, Pat, stand up. This is your first offenco And so I will lot you get out, nnd go hence." Bert Fuller, Samuel Ncwhouso's chauffeur, chauf-feur, entered a plea of guilty to violation of the automobile ordinance, but he made ho -usual talk to the effect that no ono could tell how fast an automobile was going by looking at It. "That's where I got you." interposed Officer Gillespie. "1 looked at my watch imtad of "the automobile and I can swear that you went three blocks in a little lit-tle over half a minute." "But the machine cannot go that fast," protested tho chauffeur. "Anyway, you made good time," ob-Horved ob-Horved the court, "and tlmo Is moitcv. so you should bo able to give tho city $10." A friend passed over a $20 bill and 'tho chauffeur was liberated. mam Why Henderson was known as "Shny" Wn-j something no one thero could any. But, judging from Ms former reels, They called him "Shny" 'cause ho had wheels. , Flvo days In Jail the court required Our old friend Shay to be retired. ,