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Show HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS Common sense psychiatry, part II l! Krnui Jemi !, I'm i II "People become disturbed in different dif-ferent ways. Some are terribly depressed; depress-ed; some in a state of panic; some violent: some confused and irrational; some don't make any sense at all. ...they need to feel some kind of support, sup-port, some kind of protection. Try to give them that." from part I. "8. In the same line of thought, if you feel they are out of control, or going out of control, or that they are too much for you to deal with, don't pretend to do more than you can really do. The most responsible thing to do then is to decide on bringing in someone with more experience, ex-perience, or think about a hospital. 'Many people are terrified of mental hospitals. Find out which hospitals in your area are good; which psychiatrists and other mental health workers are sympathetic and easy to talk to. "If a person is too disturbed to handle, han-dle, get him to someone who can help him calm down or to a hospital. It's foolish to take chances with people's lives, especially if they are dangerous to themselves or others. Don't expect too much of yourself. Sometimes we simply can't handle certain problems without help. It's best to know what your alternatives are. "9. Tell people what you are doing. Don't mystify them. Don't make phone calls behind their backs, or agree with them when you are really planning something else. No matter how crazy someone seems, there's always a part of him that is aware of reality: respect that part of him, talk to that part of him, and chances are he'll respond. "10. If you start feeling bored while you're talking to someone about his pro-" blems, try to focus in on the problem. Boredom often means that people are not talking about their real concerns. Question yourself whether you really understand what's going on. How can you help? How can the person help himself? Does he need a hospital? A psychiatrist? Medication? What is the real problem and what are the alternatives? alter-natives? "11. A word about Depression. Life in modern society is filled with tension, painful experiences, humiliations and real losses. Not only is our self-esteem slashed time and again, but we have to endure losses and separations from people close to us, friends who leave, who die, who are killed, who go to jail, etc. There's a natural healing over after such a loss, but it takes time. "Don't expect people not to feel these human feelings deeply. Help them understand their experience and feelings feel-ings as being just as necesary in their lives as any other experience of feelings. feel-ings. "For some depression masks oppression. op-pression. II there's no 'real' loss going on, look for the oppression that's making mak-ing the other person feel small and worthless. wor-thless. Help him understand that it may not be 'just in his head' but in the real world that such oppression exists. Help him get in touch with others who share his problems. Help him understand that he's not bad or crazy. Let him get angry if he deserves to get angry. "12. A word about Paranoia. Paranoia, the belief that people are trying try-ing to hurt you, is usually accompanied by a state of increased sensitivity to one's relationships with others. Paranoid feelings are often justified to some extent. Don't argue with them; try to see to what extent they're true and what that means lor the person. Modern bureaucratics, technological society makes most of us feel suspicious, mistrustful, manipulated, 'Paranoid,' to some extent. Help the paranoid person separate the fact from the fiction of his paranoia. and then help him to stop being paralyzed or destroyed by his sensitivity. "13. A word about violent people. Violent people are ol ten very frightened and can be calmed down it you I real them as people, not monsters, and lei Ihein know that you will help Iheni Soinelinies. though, people are just mil of touch. Don't try to be a hero and endanger en-danger yourself and others. Do what you can without being foolhardy. Get help when you need it. Talk straight to someone w ho is out of touch and violent or threatening violence: be reasonable and firm but try not to be threatening. "14. We all need to share experiences in handling common psychatric problems. pro-blems. If you get involved in helping someone so-meone with his problems, be sure you are able to talk to someone else when ..ccessary, in case you begin to feel upset yourself. Try to find someone w ho will listen to you calmly, respectfully, and helpfully as you yourself, hopefully, hopeful-ly, would do. In mental health matters, as in other matters, the best rule is still : Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. "15. Remember that the role of helper and being helped are interchangeable. inter-changeable. You may help someone today, to-day, and need help tomorrow. That's the w ay it should be. Our common task is to develop our abilities to help each other so that we can help and strengthen one another." end of Part II of Common Sense Psychiatry. Well, dear Readers, there you are. Those are your options in studying the health of those around you, and what you can do if something is necessary; and how to do it if you are able to listen, and be calm, and respect how one feels. Abbe' Pire said: "What matters today is not the difference between those who believe and those who do not believe, but the difference between those who care and those who don't." Caring is important to a human being in pain, no matter if it is physical, emotional, mental, men-tal, spiritual or something else it is necessary that another person can understand the feeling of 'pain' and the 'contusion' it many times brings. "Do unto others..." as the Master said, but remember that their nature is not your nature. Find out what their nature is. and "do unto them, accordingly." |
