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Show X Proceedings of X the Knockers' Club BY MTJKRAY SCHICK. msw ABIES." observed thc Minis- Jjfl zinc, "are the joy of life here and the symbols of life hereafter." here-after." "Babies," said thc Lawyer, "are a necessary evil." "Most babies," the Professor interposed, inter-posed, "are an Unnecessary evil." "But we couldn't get along without them," exclaimed the Doctor. '"Which is prima facie evidence that they are an evil," said the Lawyer maliciously. ma-liciously. "When you see anything that the doctors can't get along without you may make up your mind that it is mighty bad for the rest of ua." "The same might be said of the legal profession," retorted the Doctor. . "How: did all this trouble start?" Inquired In-quired the Professor with a view to oiling the troubled waters. The Minister Min-ister confessed: "I started it. I have been reading an nrticlc in this magazine telling of the falling off in the birtli rate in civilized countries. It .is truly deplorable thc extent to which race suicide prevails In Christian nations." . The loading members of the Knockers' Knock-ers' club felt intuitively that there was to be an argument. It is an unwritten unwrit-ten law of the olub that no dogmatic statement shall bo allowed to go unchallenged. un-challenged. The utatement need not be one with which the listeners disagree. Among the Knockers debate is not a matter of belief, but of principle. Thc Doctor was first to take up the gauntlet: gaunt-let: "You are right to a certain extent. -Nature has provided physiological means for the perpetuation of the species', spe-cies', and when we attempt to thwart those means we suffer In body and mind. Maternity Is certainly conducive to the health of women, and men who remain unmarried are frequently led into vice with all its attendant evils. But in a great many cases large families produce more physical and moral evils than .hey prevent. Restraint Re-straint might injure one man and one woman. Propagation under unfavorable unfavora-ble surroundings may produce a dozen sickly, ill-nourished persons and develop devel-op them Into criminals. It is a crime for some people to have children, and they should be discouraged from doing so." The word "crime" aroused the Lawyer Law-yer to action: "Largo families are food for the penitentiaries-, Children who do hot have enough to eat and enough to wear; who run the streets and whose circumstances circum-stances preclude the possibility of proper prop-er home training are predestined to vagrancy and crime. I often wonder how any of them turn out well. What you call 'race vsuiclde' I would call 'race preservation.' Heaven knows there are people enough in the world, and I opine that thoae who arc here would be more comfortable , if they had more elbow room." "Wo are commanded in holy writ to multiply and replenish the earth," said the Minister. "The earth has been replenished for loi those many years," remarked the Professor, who had been quietly listening listen-ing to the discussion. "Holy writ does not command us to multiply and crowd each other off the earth." "But how would you prevent it?" asked the Minister. "I would not prevent it." replied the Professor. "It is preventing itself, and you call this prevention 'race suicide.' Such tilings are not regulated by theories the-ories or by individuals, but by forces over which you and I hae no control. I The very same forces which give rise to the large families of past ages, and the command 'multiply and replenish the earth,' are now operating to retard thc rate of increase." "And what are those forces?" "Chiefly the duration of life and the available land. You will observe -that the common lly lays thousands of eggs and hatches hundreds of young. Of these very few live long enough to reproduce re-produce their kind. If tlies had not been prolific they would have long ago ceased to exist. The elephant lives for a hundred years and has fewer offspring. off-spring. There is no perceptible decrease de-crease in the number of fijes." and the Professor slapped angrily at his bald head, "because the spread of human population enables them to cat and survive. sur-vive. The diffusion of mankind, however, how-ever, interferes with the feeding ground of the elephant, and his fecundity is reduced. re-duced. In the human race more children chil-dren grow to maturity than formerly; at the samo time the unoccupipd land is becoming scarce. In short, tho conditions con-ditions that existed when men were to multiply and replenish the earth are reversed. re-versed. Fresh air, exercise, good ner-vouasystems ner-vouasystems and early marriages lend to make large families. The congestion conges-tion of the race in cities deprives us of these things. To make us quit crowding nature has resorted to the expedient ex-pedient of giving us fewer children. It is quite possible that the continuance of thc former high blrlh-rato would cause the physical degeneration of thc whole species. By lessening thc number num-ber of children nature is giving us a chance to adapt ourselves gradually to the changing cqnditlons." "But you lose sight of the fact, protested pro-tested the Minister, "that the people who are best able to caro for children have the smallest families, and the poor and Ignorant the largest!" "No, I don't." retorted the Professor. "For a man who believes that the world is regulated by a Higher Intelligence you are rather prone to set up your own judgment against things that exist. Does'lt not occur to you that a very few ministers, doctors, lawyers and professors profes-sors such os come from the well-to-do families will supply the needs of the race, while our very existence depends upon unskilled labor? A few brains can direct the work of many hands; therefore nature looks out for the hands. You find large families in tho slums as well as among the healthy outdoor dwellers, but the children of the slums die like the Hies in Infancy, while the Isolated families flourish. Nature would have a poor head on her for business if she propagated tho grasping business man and the neuras-thonlo neuras-thonlo society woman Xu tho torm of dawdling professionals and neglected the material basis on which society rests. "Besidea," added the Professor, "what v;ould we fellows do If we had fivo or ten times ns many ministers hunting churches and professors hunting positions posi-tions as wo have now?" "Raise potatoes,. I. suppose' replied tho Minister, 1 |