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Show High Time I i Lie A Lot; Araeil You? By FLORENCE BITTNER Almost no one over age Ihree is completely honest. Groucho Marx once said, "There's one way to find out u a man's honest. Ask him. If he says 'Yes' you know he's crooked." MOST OF us are honest when we're being watched or when we're sure the person we're telling the story to really know the facts, or when it doesn't matter much one way or other, but on the other hand. Uncle Jim is an honest man. He has left a trail of bruised egos and outright enemies from childhood up into his senior citizen days, but he continues in his forthright honesty. AUNT MARTHA tells of the time they were going to visit some friends where the children were allowed to be "unfettered free souls" and the mother believed in giving the house a good spring cleaning and then let nature and the kids take their course during the ensuing months. "Let's only stay about 20 minutes," said Aunt Martha as they rang the front door bell. "That's about all I can stand of this hubub." IN THE middle of getting Bessie's prize pickle recipe. Aunt Martha saw her honest husband unfold his lone frame from the depths of a chair where he was festooned with drying diapers and two fighting urchins. "OK, Marthy. It's been 20 minutes. Let's get out of here." "Tact", moans Aunt Martha, "is something I dreamed up to plague that man with. He says tact is just a pohte way of telling lies." John E. Reid of Chicago has been professionally testing people's honesty for more than 30 years. He has never met Uncle Jim, but he says flatly, "1 have yet to find a completely honest man." THIS MODERN day Diogenes says not everyone is an outright crook. It's mostly a matter of attitude. People who will steal $1000 or more justify themselves by saying they are taking only what they are entitled to, as with em-bezzelers em-bezzelers who help themselves them-selves to company funds because they are not being paid adequately. This person, says Reid, is a crook no matter mat-ter what he calls his stealing. The 30 percent of the pecnle who fall in this category will steal anything they can any time Ihev can and justify their theft to themselves in assorted ways. THERE ARE about 30 percent, per-cent, according to Mr. Reid's studies, who won't steal anvthing of value, and if they do take something, they attempt at-tempt to justify their larceny to make themselves more comfortable. The middle 40 percent won't steal or embezzle unless there's a very good chance of getting away with it. People in the middle 40 percent only steal from safe places like welfare, expense accounts, insurance claims, income taxes and relatives. IN ADDITION to theft. Reid has studied people's lies. He had a hand in perfecting the lie detector, and has written a questionnaire used by major companies in screening prospective pros-pective employees. Only once, he said, has he seen a perfect score So puzzled was he by this phenomenon that he arranged a detailed personal interview with this paragon. After a few minutes the man gulped and blurted out that he was a professional con man whose latest caper had been a door-to-door burglar alarm swindle. IDEALLY, OF course, we would all be perfectly honest all the time. And we would all undoubtedly hate each other in very short order. Sometimes Some-times it's the other person's fault. She doesn't have to ask a question she doesn't really want to hear the answer to. If you wonder if your new suit makes you look fat, don't ask unless you want to be told. The art of telling little white lies is usually ingrained into us in childhood by mothers who insist upon our being polite when we feel impolite; upon our not telling little Billy next door we hate him even when he is eminently hatea-ble; hatea-ble; upon our giving Aunt Martha a big kiss when she smells like onions. GLADSTONE ONCE said, "Never believe a word I say. I am a professional liar. I am a diplomat." (Actually Cljfl,... said any such u-,-.'v-that up. but the.',' time.) |