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Show back to Germany to become the permanent per-manent rector of the American church In Derlin. He has tendered hla resignation resig-nation to tho Chicago church and will sail Tuesday for his new charge. Mr. Crossor Is by no means unknown to the people he plans to work with.' Inasmuch In-asmuch aa he occupied the pulpit of the American church In Berlin for several months last year. JUST FOR FUN Among Themielves. The Town Council of a small Ger-man Ger-man community met to Inspect a new site for a ball. They assembled at a chapel, and as It waa a warm day a member -suggested that they should leave their coats there. "Some one con stay behind and watch them," suggested another. "What for?" demanded a third. "If we aro all going out together, what need is there for any ono to watch the clothes ?" Tit-Bits. He Rallment. Brother Pango 'Peahs like dat cul-lud cul-lud doctah a makln' a heap o' calls on Brudder Lopp's young yallah wife. Am she as sick as all dat? Brother Rattaree Nussah; she's aa good-lookln' aa all dat Puck. Not True to Life. "Realism on the stage? There is no such thing." "How now?" "Six months elapse between act 1 tvnd act II. and yet thoy have the eamo cook." Kansas City Journal. The Mysterious Target. First Policeman Did you hear about that woman on the west side ehootlng a burglar last night? Second Policeman Yes. What do you suppose she was aiming at? Chicago Chi-cago News. Conscience vs. Art. I Thomas Nelson Page, In the eraok-Ing eraok-Ing room of the Baltic, contrasted the literary and tho scientific temperaments. tempera-ments. "But the latter will best bring out my point." said the famous author. "You've heard, of course, of Tennyson's Tenny-son's poem, 'The Vision of Sin." Well, an eminent mathematician wrote to Tennyson, on the appearance of his poem, a letter that ran like this; " 'Dear Sir: I find m a recent poem of yours entitled "Tho Vision of Sin," the following unwarranted statement: state-ment: "Every moment dies a man. and every moment ono Is born." I need hnrdly point out that this calculation, calcu-lation, if correct, would tend to keep tho eum total of the world's population popula-tion In a state of perpetual equlpnse, whereas, it is an established fict that the said population Is constantly on Increase. I would, therefore, suggest that In the next edition of thl9 poem the erroneous calculation to which I refer should be corrected aa follows: "Every moment dies a man, and one nnd a sixteenth Is born." I mav add that the exact figures are 1.167, but something must, of course, be conceded conced-ed to the laws of rhythm." Wash-ington Wash-ington Star. The Maternal Instinct. "Children that veil, like that ought either to be gagged or kept at home," j remarked the Irascible gentleman with the while beard to the conduc-' tor. I "And faces like tho one wot you're ! scarin people with," chipped in tho ' mother of the noisy infant, "oughter be made into door knockers or sent ter j the Chambers o' 'Orrors." I The gentleman with patriarchal face fungus took on n brick-red com- I plexion. "I know it's awkward at I times " he commenced "It's more'n awkward; It's nothln short o" 'orrlble," snapped tbe lady, aa the once more glanced at the sorry elderly man's set of features. , When the rest of the passengers tittered audibly, the old gentleman came to the conclusion that it behooved be-hooved him to speak to the point "I mean the child " he tried once , more. "And you didn't mean it no good." returned the lady, "else you wouldn't a looked at it" Ideas. An Original Thinker. A studious pernon can. by thinking lonp; enouph, find reasons for almost j anything. They will not be necessarily necessar-ily good reasons, but they may be presentable pre-sentable like those of the young man who, in an examination, was asked, "Why will not a pin stand on Its point?" ' He considered tbe proposition a lon time, and then answered: "In the first place, a point Is defined defin-ed by Euclid as that which has no parts and no magnitude, and how can a pin stand on that which hath no parts and no magnitude? "In the second place, a pin will not stand on its head, much less, there-, fore. 'Rill It stand on its point, i "Thirdly and lastly. It will if you ' stick it in hard enough." Feareon's. j Have You Seen the Picture? ' A Barnegat schoolma'ani had been telling her pupils something about Goorce Washington, and finally she askd: "Can nnyono now toll me which Washington was a great General or a trreat Admiral?" The small son of a flBhermnn raised rais-ed his hand, nnd she signaled him to spenk. "He was a great General." said tho boy. "I seen a picture of him crossing cross-ing the Delaware and no great Admiral Ad-miral would put out from shore standing stand-ing up in a skiff." Everybody's Magazine. Mag-azine. ' i Strange to the Colonel. I Colonel Dennlson had become the happy father of twine, and hig unbounded un-bounded pride In the two-fold blessedness blessed-ness found expression on every occasion. occa-sion. Ho stood with a friend on the bank fcteps ono day as a young woman passed pass-ed wheeling a baby carriage contaln-Dfn contaln-Dfn a pretty drl baby. "Doesn't a woman look queer," said tho colonel, loftily, "with only one child?" Success. I |
