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Show Journalist Says That "Happiness Stems From Facing and Acceptance of Self", i JJt ,,A Lucy4 Freeman, New York Times staff member and author of "Fight Against Fear," reveals here her personal creed. This is one of a series of statements prepared for broadcast by thinking, useful use-ful people in all walks of life. The program is presented by Edward Ed-ward R. Murrow over KSUB at 6 p. m., Monday through Friday. By Lucy Freeman New York Times Reporter, Author of "Fight Against Fear" I believe that everyone wants to live and be loved and that happiness stems from a facing and acceptance of self that allows al-lows you to give and receive love. Some think of love as a passionate, pas-sionate, hungry, dramatic feeling, feel-ing, all-consuming in intensity and desire. As I see it, this is, rather, immature love; it is a demand on others, not a giving of oneself. Mature love, the love that brings happiness, flows out of an inner fullness, and accepts, ac-cepts, understands and is tender toward the other person. It does not ask to be served but only where it may serve. Six years ago I could hardly breathe because of acute sinus. My Stomach was always upset and full of queasiness and I had trouble sleeping, even though I felt exhausted all the time. In desperation, after doctors who treated the physical symptoms failed to ease the pain, I tried psychoanalysis. I was lucky to find a wise, compassionate man who showed me what it meant to be able to trust myself and others. The physical ills are gone, but more than that, I have at long last started to acquire a philosophy philoso-phy of living. I had never possessed pos-sessed one: I had lived on dogma and dicta which I had ac-cepted ac-cepted unquestioningly through' the years, even though I believed little of it, because I feared to question. But by being uable' to live naturally and at peace i with myself I was flying in the1 face of nature. She was punish-ing punish-ing me with illness and, at the same time, informing me all was not well just in case I wanted to do something about it. In order to change, I needed help in facing myself. For me it was not easy to "know thyself." thy-self." All my life I had accepted the lesser of the two evils and run away from self because truth was more dangerous. Once I thought that to survive I had to put on a mask and forget what lay underneath. But masks are false protections and the inner part of me refused to go unheard forever. It caught up eventually and unless it was to master me, I had to face such feelings as fear, anger, envy, hatred, jealousy and excessive need for attention. When I realized re-alized I could not have done anything else except what I did, I was able to like myself more and be able to like others not for what they could give me, but for which I could give to them. The Bible shows the way to easy, happy living in many of its pages. It advises, "It is more blessed to give than to receive." Thos,? who expect the most are apt to receive the least. I had expected much and was filled with fury because nothing in the outside world relieved my emptiness empti-ness and despair. Nothing did, either, until I could face the anger and fury, the emptiness and despair, and slowly start to know such new feeling as compassion, conviction, control, calm. I learned, too, of reason that judicious combination of thought and feeling that enables ena-bles me to take more responsibility responsi-bility for myself and others, that allows me to slay the ghosts of the past. For me there is much hard work ahead to achieve greater happiness. Yet, the very struggle strug-gle I have put into achieving a measure of it, makes happiness that much more dear. |