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Show Doesn't Believe Hod's Arm Was Busted n ' 0 n n n n No Room in Hotel Lobby to Fall Down H ' H ' 0 H H H Bewildered About Today's Slab Artists Bv RING W. LARDNER. they do that to me I tell it. But I really did strike out more birds the day we played New Zealand than Hod did after falling down. X TOW as for the details of the game the other experts can tell you what was visible on the field but very few can tell you what really happened in the Reds' fourth. I suppose a whole lot of you wondered what come off when Pat Mo ran dashed up from the first base coaching line and stopped what ever game there was going on. Welt, here is the actual conversation that occurred: "Mr. Rigeler," said Pat, "I don't believe be-lieve I know you." "I guess you don't," said Mr. Rigler, "as you have spelled my name wrong." "Well." said Pat, "I just wanted to know if you was one of the Rlgelers from Crystal Falls?" "No," said Mr. Rigler. The game then went on as usual. The most interesting thing I could find about the game was in the program and here is what it says in part: "So and so beer has the largest sale of any beer in the loop." "So and so beer is a case of good judgment." judg-ment." Well, gents, that makes a man wonder which beer is going to advertise next But on the other hand it says- ''The pitcher who wins the game must be tn perfect physical condition and the same applies to the game of life. We respectfully respect-fully refer you to the following patrons I Mr. Charles A. Comiskev, Hon Geo' ' Carpenter, Mr. Ban B. Johnson and I Bishop C. P. Anderson." So that puts me all up in the air again I as I don't know who is going to pitch tomorrow whether it will be Charles A Comiskey or Mr. Ban B. Johnson or Bishop Anderson, but I know it won't be a carpenter as he. charges too much per hr. (Copyright, 1919, by Bell Syndicate.) Chi, Oct. 6. GENTS: Well, they asked me what was the feature of this game and I sais I thought I heard a rumor that Hod Eller come down for breakfast this a. m. In the stead of ordering it up in his rm and wile he was struggling to get through ! the lobby he fell on the pavement and ! broke his right arm at the elbow. Well, ' evidently he went and seen a dr. and the next time I seen him he was out on the mound or box or what they call it pitching for the defeated Reds and 1 couldn't see his elbow from tho where I set but don't ever let that bird brag about strikeing out fi .birds in succession because once I was pitched for the Niles high school against New Zealand and 1 whiffed the whole ball club. But speaking about the roomer Hod Eller toppling over in the hotel lobby. If he had of been a roomer at my hotel he wouldn't of never fell over because they wasn't no rm, in our lobby because the minute you try and walk through the lobby in our hotel a million bugs from Cincinnati and old Chi grabs you by either arm and ask you how to bet on the rest of the serious. Thus you get through the lobby. NOW let us get back to Hod Eller. If he did fall down in the hotel lobby and bust an arm it must of been the arm he pitched with because I never seen such nonsensical pitching in ail my born days to use a new -expression and I have seen a whole lot of pitching in my born days. Bnt as a matter of fact gents, you can't tell me that , that bird ever "fell down in a hotel lobby -this morning or any other morning because he didn't fall down in a much larger place this p. m. and if you don't fall down in the morning morn-ing you are certainly not going to fall down in the afternoon because the time everybody is libel to fall down is in the morning includeing a pitcher right or left handed. So please don't believe that Hod fell down cither morning or afternoon after-noon either one though it was a Cincinnati Cincin-nati baseball writer that give me the story about him falling down whicli makes it 1 excluseive between I and you and the j world. The Cincinnati baseball writer 1 give it to me in confidence and any time |