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Show IH '. Stargazing admiring ono on tho P stage. i I' , Very well. Keep your meat; we'll I' ', keep our money. It Even to the humorist a broken leg j f is not a funny snap. . I, ' f This year's census, however, will not l include Doctor Cook. Ill i, ' -What a time they've been haying in If f. "Merric, morric Englnnd! " jj ' No, son; oleclric wires arc not cov- j cred to prevent the light from leaking jf J' out. I ' . Packers say they do not dictate bcof U prices. Mo-oo-oo! Why not say tho consumer does it? i j But it is a bit humiliating to a fel- U low to sec his two-hundrcd-dollar dog 3 licked by a two-dollar cur. H 'f c III' ., , Some married couples don't live to- i .; gcthor long enough to find out that their ;j wedding silver is only plated. I '" This rapid spread of the meat boy- ir ., cott strikes the trust as being nothing '. less than the spread of a plague. t 'It appears to be a wistful glance , j that President Taffc casts alternately f toward the big stick and the olive f ' branch. ' ' . " I 1 " i 1 advancing tho prico of shoes, is Ij! ! the soulless shoo trust endeavoring to I make it also impossible for men to pos- ' , eesa soles? I' ' L So many jokers arc being discovered t' - in that Congressional gamo that it is h '" getting so a member can't tell what is r the trump. j i ! ' "WIiat Chief of Police Barlow means , to say to liquor dealers is that the Sunday lid is not to be worn tilted over ji j on one car. 'J ! ' j "When it comes to lowering the price T of oggs, it will be better just uoxv j,0 -leave tho mattdr to tho moderating j , ' weather and the awakoning hen. , . are a' nation of musical bar- , j ' : barians," declares a Chicago professor. j 'j. Js Possible that Apostlo ireber J. ,,' '. Grant can .bo heard at that distance? j Ezra Kondall is dead, according to thp dispatches. We wish it could be f Baid of this splendid humorist as Mark i Twain onco said of himself, that the j'l ' ) report is "greatly exaggerated." ji , 'rj Kaiser Wilhelm has decreod that the t " officers of his army shall learn to dauco racofulIy Of course, if the kaisor ex- ' " T)Ccts thnt some .day some foe will com ('. . pel thorn to do it, they may as well I I : learn to do it gracefully, if at all. So the Press club has decided to pull HI , off a "Terrible Prost" at tho Salt Lake -j tiof,ter on t!'o oyeuing of February , ' ' lnt-, Well, if tho predictions of its -J . - promoters shall prove to bo as good as JHj ' ' thoso of 1,10 weatherman, there'll be IH V,, Jj, Q bot tinio in this old town that night. j,' . j 1 Dispatches tell us that the packers say (- that meat prices will g0 still higher; i I 1 ), ?nd PHe might reply that in such H.'l ' ra8C t rC Wi" h0 stUI fewcr Purchases. ,L - jf Ia a freezo-out gamo of that kind -it is H L' 1 ?ifficulfc t0 iacern the nature of tho f eh. finish. - ' 'i.A iJhiTl,T- ,.d0llarB a mouH' and H . , 1 ".founa"-may"not bo largo-pay for a H ) ' 1i : pnvate in Undo Sam's nrmy to receive- but in tlioso days of high food pricos tho "found" part of it amounts to u great deal in the 03'os of tho aforesaid uncle. |