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Show The Comit That Hits Salt Lake An' What People Think They Know About Its Promiscuous Ruminatin's Reported by Johnny Burko Say, did you nil see tho comlt las' night? Sure, you all sees It, you can't help secln' It. Do you know why Is this hero comIL? No? Well. I'll put you hop. This hero comlt ain't no regular comlt, us tlioy knows about yot. Them sharps that glaum through thu long lamps says this hero particular comlt Is a stray like a stray dawg that gits off the beaten path. Las' night I'm havln' information thrust on mo about this comlt. Everybody mos' says It's Halley'a comlt. ''How d'yo knows It's Halley's comlt; says I. "It ain't got no sign on It." "Well, every comlt don't have to ha-o no sign, does It?" says they. "They b plenty comlts that's well known that's tinvnr linrtn nnlnfnrl nn nnni." But I'm not easy; this hero comlt puzzles puz-zles mo a heap, 'causo cf It wns llalloy s i comlt tho feller that's runnln' It would have sent out a press agent In ndvancc, like Jack Curlcy. So I calls up a woman what's a scientific kazaz that way, an I 1 says to her. says I; ..... "Madam." says I, "Is that Halley's ' comlt what we done seen tonight? "No. Indeed," says she. "Ilalllc s only a young girl, an she ain't got no ; comlt vet that Is no reg'lar comlt, al-, al-, though Jim Bradley does conic to sco hor off an' on." . ., So I calls up Dr. Pack, who runs the observatory part of It anyway at the university. , , . . Dr. Pack puts mo wise to the fact that this here comlt what's seen las night nln't Halley's, none, nohow. Halloy s comlt ain't due to pull In on the house track till 'long about April wanst. Dr. Pack lets tho light into my boknlghtod intellect in-tellect that Iho comlt that hits this town las' night Is a a onlndcndflod comit. It ain't got no natno yet. so's you can notice, but they's still hope. Jes' now, tho fellers fel-lers that takes tho long. Ungorln lang'rous peck through the toob heats their brantlln' Irons an' after- they s hog tied tho comlt they stamps him like this: "Comet A-1010," mcnnln' that lies tho tlrst maverick comlt that they meets up this year. The comit, says Dr. Pack, may be soon cvory night for a week, loastwlso that s tho timclie calculates the comlt will stick around. In two or three days Its llltclj to grow brighter, It all depends on conditions condi-tions that's too painful to relate. It depends, de-pends, too, on how many artificial horizons hori-zons has been established by the uso or glasses by the feller that sees but Dr. Pack don't say this. It seems like this hero comlt. like mos comlts, has got a had case of ellipse. It ain't never done got operated on for tnat thoro ailment, an' nobody knows how serious se-rious it Is. Tho orbit of " comlt, I m constrained for to note, ain't like the orbit of planot leastwise, not altogether like It. You sec. the orbit of a planet Is regular, reg-ular, and Is more or less oblong, without many knots in It. but the orbit pf a comlt Is Hko the navigation of a fcl er whnts done busted a New Year's rcso "tion. What a comit's made of, aln t novor done been auspicated. Somp says It made out of molasses and some says It s made out of cheese that growed apace witli age. Mos' of tho people that takes ft comlt serious that way say It's a rnctorlte or a full growed meteor, an' that the light that chases up behind it, don't belong to tho comlt none, but in light that's reflected from othor gobs of stuff that's rushln aroun' promiscuous through the universe, mos' of it comln from the huh, says thoy, whon tho comit's any wise near the earth. . It scorns like the A-1010 comlt isn't so very far from us. belli' only a few million miles. It's too far away, though, to gel to by a Warm Springs car. Somo fellers tells mo las' night that this here comit will be 'way up high In the heavens pretty quick now, but that ain't so. says some other fellers. These last fellers says the comit's goln' down, like the lato lamented Mr. McGInty an' the oloavtor boy, Instead of roIii' up, like a balloon. Consequent on this, It's a cinch that the comlt'll hit tho horizon in about a week at the rate It's goln', which Is about as fas ns a San Franclsro light promoter can lie. So, cf you want to see exhibit A, you'll havo to keep sober nox' few days. This comlt A-1010 Is first discovered when a piece of its tall hits a Dutchman's Dutch-man's whiskers In Johnnnpsburg, South Africa, on the 10th. and burns 'em off. Since then they's all kind of gastronom-Ical gastronom-Ical observations boon took of It, with pitchers, llko you take of Jeffries when lio first lights In town. Thi-so pitchers Is tho movjn kind. I reckon, an' pretty soon they'll bo on the vaudeville circuit, so of you don't see th comit this timo, you're certain shore to see it in tho pitcher shows. Socln' as Jack Johnson Is tho only man that can Hllng the English language fit for to describe what this comit roally Is, I takes a tip from his lecture In New York Sunday night on psychology, nn asks him lo wire mo his views on the comlt. Here's what ho sends: "An analysis of the? photographic observations obser-vations made of the new comet shows that Its body dlffors from cornets In gon-eral gon-eral greatly. The usual comet spectrum consists of very bright scries of hydrocarbon hydro-carbon bands, but the comet now visible shows very light hydro-carbon bands, with a pair of Intensely bright sodium lines. The striking orango color of the comet head Is duo lo Incandescent sodium so-dium vapor. "This nnd a due respect, for an agod mother are the beliefs I hold: furthermore. further-more. I will hox in Salt Lake or any other placo whero they've got the dough." All of which is highly Important. If true. Some fellers might object to the statement state-ment of Mr. Johnson that tho orange color Is duo to Incandescent sodium vapor, an' say that It's due to a yellow streak down the comit's back. They's plenty fellers, too. thnt searches tholr carbureters an' sees a resemblanco between this hero comlt an the one thoy lamps ln ISS2. They Rays the tall lights is tho same, an' stuff llko that, but I don't think anybody can remember how tall lights looked thirty years ago. Thoy not beln' a telescopo In this gran' an' glorlus stato of Utah that'll look fur-thcr'n fur-thcr'n Ensign peak, we all has got to bo satisfied with usln" them vlslonators that we's born with. The tlmo to look for tho A-1910 comlt Is about thirteenth drink time, or about a quarter of 7 o'clock in the cvcnln' by onclvlllzed way of tellln' time |