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Show for to bun stylish, cper- Youtv Companion. 8 Father's Little Joke. A Baltimore man rowntly callM at a frlond'8 hoiiBC where tho Btori! .had reoontlv arrived. K "Hftllo, Tom," wan th fffuslvn greeting of tho caller. "What U Boy or frlrl?" . ' "Guosa," said tho father. '"Boy," ventured tho caller. With a Bad smile the new parent rj, fd, "Old man, you're only half right," Harper's Magazine. She Wae Wrong. There was an oppressive sllnce the parlor. At laat the desperv.. younj? lady broke otiL "George." aked ahe, "why don't you propose?" "Somehow somehow. I can't brln myself to do It, Myrtle-" blurtt-d thj young man. J I "It s only a short nentence, George "It's a sentence for life!" Judge, j Guessing Ahead. j Dot (agfd 6) Mamma, If I pet mar. ' rled will 1 hwvo a husband like papa? j Mamma Yes. I "And If T don't get married will I i be an old maid like Aunt Martha?" ! -Yes." J "Mamma, it's a touh world for u women, isn't it?" London Spare M mentis. tjnwittlfig Slander. A Western bookseller wrote to t house In Chicago asking that a dozen ' copies of Canon, Farrar's "Soekerj ' After God" bo shipped to him. at once. Within two days ho received tils reply by telegraph: "No seekers after God in Chicago or New York; try Philadelphia." Ev-cry Ev-cry body's Restrictions. "This," said the enthusiastic pat-riot, pat-riot, "Is the land of liberty, whero each may pursue happiness " "Excuse me," interrupted Mr. String Barker, "but did yon ever read tho paer they make- you sign foefor they will rent you a flat Washington Star. Hard to Convince, Little Tommy (eldest of the famllv, at dinner) Mamma, why don't you help me before Ethel? Mama Ladles must always como first Tommy (triumphantly) Then why 1 was I born before Ethel? Tit-Bits. Had No Kick. "Catch any fish?" "Nope " "Better luck next time." "I'm satisfied. I don't care to har cheap fish biting those expensive flies." Kansas City Journal. A Passing Parody. He drove a gold ball through the air. It fell to earth, he knew not where, Until he heard the luckless yell Of him upon whose bead it fell. Washington Star. Gayly Voracious. Each year the moth comes forth to view To fill ur with misgiving, An ultimate consumer who Fears not the cost of living. Washington Star. A Rube. Mayme Ain't George a swell kid? Grace Well uh yea. but he'i awful slow. We've been out together two evenings already, an' we ain't en-gagod en-gagod yet! Cleveland Leader. JUST FOR FUN Wanted That Stylish Sound. Somo persons like one tort of shoe and some another, but the kind which was desired by Pierre, the French-Canadian French-Canadian mlllhand, has never enjoyed enjoy-ed a wide popularity. "Shoe6 for Sunday," Pierre stated to the young man who advanced to meet him as he entered the salesroom of the big shoo factory. He then 6at heavily down on one of the red plush seats and allowed the salesman to insert his feet in a pair of bright yellow shoes. When they were fairly on, Pierre stood, moved his feet this way and that took a few 6teps, and, shaking his head, sat down again. "What's the matter?" asked the clerk. "Do they hurt you? Are they too tight?" Pierre shook his head violently. "She no tight," be said, "but also she no talk. Shoes for Sunday must talk, talk, all the way up in church |