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Show Dorothy Dix Talks j EGOTISM THE BAR TO HAPPINESS. Bv DOPOT1TY DIX. TJ,P "World's Highest Pair? Woman Writer S "The reason that most of us are misareable and discontented," said the Woman Philosopher, "is because we are supremely and ''utterly egotistical and demand so much for ourselves that it is impossible for our desires to ever be gratified in full. Hence these tears. "We can understand why existence must inev.itably hold much of disappointment disap-pointment and sorrow for other people, but it seems such a cruelly unjust thing that we ourselves should ever have to suffer. We feel that in some mysterious way the law of nature should be suspended in our own particular par-ticular case and that we should be immune from all the griefs- that tear poor human hearts. "We demand of fate what is vouchsafed vouch-safed to no other one human being to be perfectly healthy, very wealthy, extremely beautiful, admired and courted by all. and never to have the shadow of sickness or death fall across bur sunshine. "And when we find out that life doesn't play any favorites and that we get the same sort of a deal that all of our neighbors get, we howl with rage 'and disappointment r; "We never argue out just why we should be the darlings of the gods, but (ve are very certain that we are entitled en-titled to bo. and that no matter how "blessed wo may be we have not gotten as much as we deserved. The best isn't good enough for us. f "Did you ever know anyone who habitually compared his lot in life with that of someone -who was worse off than he was? Never. We always look up. instead of down, at the'meas-uring the'meas-uring stick, and then rebel because ye are not top notch. "When I want a new sealskin coat and can't afford it, I don't go out on the street and gaze at some poor, shivering woman who is dragging a thin wisp of a ragged shawl about her frozen shoulders, and then emit shouts of joy because I have got a good, thick, jvann old fur coat, even if it isn't the yery latest word in fashionable fur ripples. "On the contrary, I turn my eyes on Mrs. Croesus gorgeous sable as she rolls down the avenue In her limousine, limou-sine, and I beat on my breast and weep because I also am not befurred like a millionairess. - "As a matter of fact, the lot of the ayeragc individual isn't such a bad one. Most of us have fairly good health and are comfortably fed and housed. We have agreeable friends and relatives rela-tives and we only work hard enough to have something interesting to do to fill in our lives. "There's nothing to prevent us from fairly burbling with happiness except ex-cept the egotism that makes us think we should have the thick cream of everything presented to us on a silver salver. But for our overweening over-weening sense of our own importance .we could enjoy chugging around In our tin Lizzies instead of being miserable because we haven't imported French cars, and we could wear our hand-me-down suits in peace of mind instead of being filled with bitterness and envy en-vy because they are not confections from a world famous tailor. "Egotism is the mother of discontent. discon-tent. If you will notice you will observe ob-serve that the more self conceited an individual is the more of a dark blue pessimist and surly" grouch he or she is sure to be. "Such people never ask themselves why they should have been given the things as their right that other people peo-ple have to toil and slave to get. or why they should have been singled out by fate for some special despensallon of Providence. Nor do they ask what they have done to deserve success, or why their fellow creatures should love and admire them when they've done nothing to inspire any affectionate regard re-gard in another's breast "You see people -who complain that they have no friends, that everybody neglects them, and no one cares whether they live or die. They feel that they have been victims of some malignant misfortune, and that they should be loved and cherished In spite of the fact that they have been utterly utter-ly selfish and self-centered and have never done a kindly or a generous act in their lives.' "I know a woman like that. All of her life she has been mean and hateful and tyrannical. She has taken the best of everything. She has a tongue like a rapier, and she has spared neither neith-er friend nor foe. Now she is old and friendless and she can't understand how it happens that no one cares for her. She never asks why should they care. "And it's egotism that Is responsible for so much domestic misery. A woman wo-man doesn't say to herself: "I'm no living picturq. I'm no marvel mar-vel of wit and brilliance. I'm no wonder won-der of mesmeric attraction to fascinate men, so why should I demand a paragon para-gon of a husband? Why would any man who is rich and handsome and clever, and a model of all the domestic virtues, marry a commonplace woman like me? "I know that such a man if such n man there be would have picked out a headliner in his own class Instead j of an ordinary Jane like me, and so I think myseif very lucky to have gotten got-ten a good, honest, kind business man who has plenty of faults but makes a good living, and therefore I am going to be happy myself'and make him happy hap-py and be humbly grateful for what I've got." "Nor does a man ever stop to ask himself why any woman who is perfectly per-fectly beautiful, gifted and charming, domestic and scintillating, and rich and aristocratic would pick out such-a such-a man as he is for a husband. If he did he would realize that he hns got all that he deserves in the wife he has got. "It's our egotism that makes every woman feel that she Is entitled to a Prince Charming and .makes every man feel that his proper mate is a combination of Lillian Russell and Mrs. Rorer and Hetty Green, and that they have been gold bricked in the matrimonial proposition when they got mere ordinary human beings for life partners. "And the houI harrowing time wo have over jealousy Is nothing but egotism ego-tism In Its final expression. We consider con-sider we have a right to bo more admired ad-mired and loved than anyone, and J when we aren't we tear our little world to tatters. Jealousy is just self love, for most of us never really love any other mortal but ourselpes. "We never think of anything but ourselves, and we judge -of everything, from the littlest to the blggeBt, by the way it reacts on us. It's amusing and terrible, but wo even talk about this war that Is drenching the world with blood in terms of the eternal 1. I weep because my son has gono to the front. I am complacent or in despair according to whether the war has prospered or ruinod my husband's business. I agree with Shorman's opinion on war because I have to pay more for food and can't get my groceries gro-ceries delivered properly. "It's egotism that stands between us and happiness and it's only when we quit thinking about ourselves and begin thinking of other people that we get any pleasure out of existence." |