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Show BI, MMMMMI I i EDITED ly MARION HARLAND cS2JS I L XHEADOPTION OFCHILDREN. ' I I i " OMLi tlino axo von nr,.. ' ;H il LL . you nroraiaol a. f W talk on tho adoption or chU-! chU-! 1 drcn Whether it vcr ap- " reared or not, I don't know. but I never saw anything on the subject and It Is one In which I am deeply interested. My husband has just been given a position by his firm which tv 111 tako him away from home a great deal. We havo no children, and I am thinking; of adopting a child to keep m, from getting too lonesome. But wh other to ?ct an Infant or a little older child la a question I can't settle. We can give It a jrood home, education, and lots of love 1 would Jiko tho opinion, of others and" of youreelf on this matter. w. C. P." I havo Tievcr given tho suggested talk on tho adoption of children, but I think It is a topic on which much may bo said and. like Mrs. W. C. P., I would like th ' opinion of others. To begin with tho latter part of tho letter hc writes. I would like to stato as jny individual Judgment that it le better to begin with a baby than with an older child. Those- of ua who have decided viows on the- training of children know-how know-how much of choir discipline should bo started while they arc still in tho cradlo and) comprehend tho dJflicuIty that lies in breaking up bad habits, no matter how young the child. I have known mother .who struggled for months to conquer tho ways given a baby by the nurse who hold lax viows as to the caro of chlldron and had started by taking up tho child St every whimper and feeding him at ua-canonical ua-canonical hours, Thorefore I think it simplifies later experiences ex-periences if the child 1b adopted as soon after birth as he can be taken from hlu mother, and If the adopted parent can havo as nvuch of the experience of. a young Infant as pow iblc. In that way ah teams to know the child as sho could not if Bhc took him into her family, at a more advanced age, Next, a to tho prime questions which always present themselves when th adoption of a chifd is under discussion. JIow much attention should be paid to tho record of his parents, and what risk is there of his Inheriting undesirable traits? A few days ago I,hoard a lecturo by a man -who probably knows more of criminology, root and branch, thou any ono else in tho country. In roply to a question what ho considered tho strongest strong-est influence In determining a child's character, his answer camo promptly and sncompromisingly: " Without doubt, environment. Tako a child of thieves and scoundrols and briny him up in tho right way and you will mako a good man of him. Tho child of the- heat IS aoscont, if put in surroundings of vlco, Iff vwlth tho example of wrongdoing" and en- Itf couragemont to crlmo on ovcry side, has It a good chance of turning out a criminal. Ilr I consider heredity a negllglblo factor in II) earlng children." If) In a moasuro I agroo with him. That lS l. I accept his viows bo far as tho moral Iff do lo ooncorned. Many of our best stu-lli stu-lli dents on tho subject of horcdlty havo 111 decided that acquired traits arc nob transit! trans-it! Xnlselblc. In other word3, tho evil ways II; Into whioh a man falls aro not handed IE' down to his children. A tendency to bo Il i light lingered or tricky or untruthful does llj tot run in a family, so far as inheriting If j theso qualities la concerned. ft What do como from parent to child, II; however, are physical blemishes in tho II tvay of dlooape. Somo of these may bo If conquered by tho right kind of care. It is llj claimed that if tho child of tuborculous It; parents is taken from them and placed In II ! t healthful locality whero ho can bo . I - tl nwVifi 1 . s sr iltfllMMIBrB WTiJHrMIH nm ill I' r-Si- s v- Wr'W:MWimSiKM I ML m. rd? m I "' !illfl nI I P WSmSBSSS Bnn SBaB IIMP WW ' vn0S III ' iJjJm liiilwwiilw rwgl reared In habits of wholesome living amidst clean and sanitary surroundings there is no reason why he should suffer from tubercular troublo Tho aame statement state-ment la mado with regard to othcr.forma of dlcaso. The fact remains that tboro are certain diseases which are transmiefible, which aro In the blood and aro almost bound to be Inherited either In tho eecond or third generation. Their conGequencea are so tcrriblo that no ono should bo willing to pass them on or to tako into tho family one infected with the dreadful taint Unless Un-less ono is positive of tho record of tho parents of a child to bo adopted, ovcry known test of tho blood and of anything else that will tell tho truth about tho child's physical condition should betaken before there Is a decision made- concerning concern-ing him. So to my mind that is tho first and greatest great-est consideration to look to in tho matter of adopting a child of any ago. A clean bill of health is an essential and no troublo should bo too great to assume In order to securo tho nearest possible approach to certainty In tho matter. That once settled, other details present themselves. In the tlrst place, why aTO you adopting tho child? My correspondent sayn frankly thai sho wishes ono to keep her from getting too lonesome. In othor words, her own happiness hap-piness and comfort are tho chief Inducements. Induce-ments. My observation and experience have not led mo to havo much Talth In the rosultof rexperlmonts undertaken with one's own peace or Joy as primary motives. They aro all right in their place, but If ono goes Into any enterprise with only personal per-sonal well-being In vlow thw outcome Is not Invariably a success. Perhaps I do my correspondent nn injustice, in-justice, slnco she goes on to tell vs that rfie can offer an adopted child a good home, education, and lots of lovo. All these point to the likelihood that she may have the advantages to the cliild as much In mind as her own pleasure, and In that caso thcro la less probability of disappointment disap-pointment These considerations will holp her to endure patiently tho disillu-Blonments disillu-Blonments winch are inevitable In the care and bringing up of any child, whether it be born of your own ileeh or adopted. Right here is ono of tho dllHcultlefc in the path of the adopting parent. The peculiarities and faults she would take for granted or hardly notice In her own child assumo Importance In the case of the adopted son or daughtor. "Supposo your small boy ot girl displays symptoms symp-toms of a violent temper. Possibly you may recall certiln tendencies of your own or of his father's or of some even remoter forbear, but unleps you arc nervous or unbalanced or the manifestations are especially alarming you will not worry unduly over the matter, but sot to work to try to combat tho fault. Moro than Uiis, after a little experience you will learn that a child runs through certain fallings just as ho falls tho victim to various infantile diseases and thut he comes out of both and is cheerfully ready for something some-thing elso of a different nature, and you reach the point whero you take his physical physi-cal or moral falls from grace with a certain cer-tain philosophy and the faith that with judicious caro this, too, shall pass away. But if the child Is adopted, In nine cases out of ten you begin to wonder what unknown un-known weakness has been handed down and to loqe time and sleep In anxiety over the matter. Before you adopt a child you should bo pretty sure of your ability to meet such contingencies as theso with common sense and patience. In other respects bcflldos thoso of p.-i-vato distress and heart searchlngs tho way of the adopting mother fs not easy. Her caso la much tho namo as that of tho stepmother, concerning whom I have often spoken sympathotlcally in tho Cor- nor. Tou may havo theories excellent theories relative to the training of children, chil-dren, holding that thoy should go to bed early, follow a almplo diet, accord you strict obodienco, and be kept In wise tutelago until, In your Judgment they havo learnco. BUfllclcni wisdom to direct H1 themselves. 'ilHfl When you praottco such ideas with your fl own children tho worst that can bo said of you is that you aro perhaps a little t H too strict and havo a disposition to bo HH moro or loss of a martinet, but no ono H really accuses you of cruelty. On tho ' other hand. If you follow tho amo schomo of living wlUi your stepchild or your ' M adopted child you lay yourself open to all kinds of harsh criticism and you must i bj prepared for this and bo firm In your ;' decision as to what coutbo you will !' H pursue before you decldo upon whother ', HH or not to adopt a child. 'HH Somo on breaks In upon mo Just here: - But lots of adopted children do go ' M wrong. I knew a case myself ot a girl '. HH of bad parcntago who was carefully ' H brought up and then threw oft all restraint '" M and went to the bad after she was grown, I M And a boy I know who waa adopted Into ,HH a flno family turned out dreadfully," ')H Yes, my dear frlond, and I can glvo you 'll case upon case of children who wore not 4l adopted and who turned out badly 1 'iHl know of ono Christian family In which a JBfl well brought up child with unstained 'Bfl generations back of her, took to thieving ' and vice as naturally as If sho had bce.i : HH bornand roared in thoslums.andof moto i Hl boys than I could count, with similar jH inheritances of cloan blood, who broke , their parents hearts by evil ways. If ) M theso had been the children of adopticn H what a huo and cry thoro would have 5 HH boon over the risk the people run who H tako strangers into their homes. ' Always it Bhould bo borne In mind that M few and far between aro tho men and HH women fitted and trained for bringing up Ha children of their own. As I see tho lack ! HH of discipline, tho disobedience, the dls- M xtspoct tho headstrong- willfulness, tho M direct violation of all family rules and ' M traditions which prevail amidst the chil- ? M dren of many of my friondo nnd ac- : H qualntances tho wonder grows with mo ' HH that we have so many respectable cltl- ' H tons among grown men and women! Tho ' HH fact that such a large proportion of H spoiled boys and girls turn out decent ' SH adults Is tho strongest urgument I know ' of the power of ultimato good to triumph. ' When I conaldor all this tho perils of adoption dwlndlo In my eyes. Yet it Is HH not a relationship to be entered into light- ' or unadvisedly. The mother of chil- i H dron feels sho cannot put them away '. H from her. They aro bono of hor bono ; fHH and flesh of her flash. A similar aer.ee ' H of responsibility and of indivisibility must ; jH bo cultivated by her relative to her H adopted children if sho expects to do H them full Justice. Her loyalty to tbcm H must bo as close as It would be to her own H if she expects to have the comforts for H herself and the benefits for them that can ,H bo derived from tho adopted relation IH Its beat jH This la my opinion. What la that or Urn M Comcritc&7 I shall hope for a' full and H candid rcsponbe to tho query. H |