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Show Siartling Family Increase By Ring W. Lardner. 130,000 Fathers Wanted Chi. Dec. 3. FiRIEND Mr. ed. I suppose that time and again you have seen parents par-ents come in with triplets and quadrupeds quadru-peds and sextets and etc. and want to get their pictures taken and H a column col-umn on Pace One of Section J about their progeny and etc. Well, Mr. ed., something happened to me today that I was wondering if it happened to a lot o birds what would they do about Hf Well., Mr. ed., I know what they would do, thev would go mad and Page" One of Section 2 would not satisfy them but they would want us to throw Prest. Wilson off of Page One of Section 1 to give them room. I SUPPOSE you'll be wondering what happened" to me .that was so wonderful. won-derful. Well, Mr. ed., I came down town as modestly as usual and didn't think I was anvbody much and the first inkling I had that it was a big day was when we turned on Illinois St. just before be-fore we plunged into the tunnel and the cars stopped and 20 members of Col. Garrity's cavalry got aboard and escorted es-corted us under the river and when I got off at Madison and Ia Salle why the cavalry S;ot off too and of course I knew something big must be coming off but I had no idear what it was till 1 come in the office and opened the mail. Well, Mr. ed., the first letter I opened up was from a lady here in town that said you are the father of 10 more children chil-dren than you thought you had and here are their names. Well, Mr. ed., here are their names: Felicienne Bourbon, France Blancher, Fernande Bijasson, Emile Biguenct, Louis Boillon, Denis Biero, Emilie Couturier, Cou-turier, Benedicte Couturier, Andrea Ansel-Chavin, and Andre Ansel-Chavin. How is that for names, Mr. ed.f and the only trouble is that a man can't tell which is boys and girls and if somebody some-body would come up and ask me how manv children have I got, why I would sov "13 but if thoy said how many of .hem are bovs, I would half to say I haven't no idear and then they would think "I was crazy. Well, Mr. cd., you know better than that. 1DO know that the 3 I have got at home are boys because there couldn't no girls be as rough and get away with it, but all as I know about these other ten is that Emile is pretty near half as old as I am and Emilie is eleven vears younger than him or what ever it is. And also that the committee wanted 150.000 fathers but all as they got. was 19,032 and they will be pleased to death to hear from gents that have no children or aren't satisfied with the amount thev have got and all it costs vou is Ion cents a day and believe me that 's cheaper than having them in the house and not only that but they name them for vou and learn them French. So if you know of anybody that is looking for a few progeny cheap why you can first write the committee a postal card or a letter or a telegram or something. Eespy, R w L |