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Show Got i lie screens all painted? Militant woman is waving the red stock in. To avoid shooting other people,-don't lute a pun. Hm Smokeless powder is also found on my lady's dresser. Marriage is always a failure when failures many. Here's where the dear girls are lifted up in the pride of their hats. Get ready to plant some trees next Thursday and beautify Salt. Lake. Vou have undoubtedly noticed that the bogus prophets arc fond of real money. ; Useless to place china eggs in the lions' nests tliejb can't hatch dinner ; In the process of tariff revision, how- vor. there appears to be no neglect of duly. "My son Hyruni " sccins to be cou-templated cou-templated very much as a fifth wheel to the water wagon. Oyster Hay presents a pathetic illus-1 illus-1 ration of what One Man can do. toward yanking a place off tho map. Xor the Senate will proceed to dcni-on&tralo dcni-on&tralo that (hero arc some things -which it also desires to do to that tariff bill. And if the price of wheat keeps on soaring, there will not only be excuse, ' but positive necessity, for gnawing a fi'e. As might have been expected, some dift'ji'ultj" is being experienced in the effort to make a'good Indian of a Crazy hnakc fl It is now impossible, they say. to coin nice Mr. Hopkins that there is any-thing any-thing humorous in the Illinois Senatorial situation- fromothing doing every minute on the Xrirlh Temple .street aqueduct. Take a look at it and sec how progress Is up. and hustling. - l Apparently JTebor .1., the wild and woolly prohibitionist, has been so fur latned ihat he will now cat out of the prophet's hand. "He that .iustifielh the wicked, aud that, condemneth the .just, even they both arc aboininntiou to hc Lord." Proverbs, xvii., lo. But the Mormon people desiro to know of Senator Smoot what use he imagines they-oan poEsibly have for a denatured apostle, B Probably Hie most disappointing thing .about the- porsonal memoirs of 1 Thomas Collier Plait is that I hoy are not to he in the least shocking. On the whole, if would appear that our prophets could find much ndvan-tage ndvan-tage in swapping a lot. of their "in-spiration" "in-spiration" for a little good horse sense. We think Mr, Koosovelt is himself going somewhat too far in the matter of naturo faking when he defermines to make monkeys out of those African lions. Hj Tt .is complained that Pugilist Jef- H i fries is remaining tantalizingly silent This is so contrary to the usual pugi' i liptic courso that we may look for somo thing to happen soon. fll A good day for a good deed; and you're a poor guesser if you don't sur-miso sur-miso that v,c mean something with ref- 1 crence to the big O. A. R. National En- cimpmcnt to be held here next August. rtisf Karle's ''affinity" wife. -is eeeking a divorce on the ground ,tiia'fc Earlc is an insauo brute. lie may have acquired his insanity moro recontb'. but. thai, ho was n brute was long ago demonstrated demon-strated when he deserted his first wife nnd her babe. |