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Show OTfoaattdrya bv Hick Brough J Yk X'i'i'i'i tiTiii'i'i'i'i'i't'g City in ecstacy after Cornice ruling pipe, how about this? Mayor Jack Green will stand at the top of Main and send a roll of toilet paper tumbling down the street. When the roll of toilet paper reaches the bottom of Main, the jackhammers will roar into action. 4) Here's an idea that will combine a carnival air with merciless destruction. destruc-tion. A collection of balloons will be massed on the ground. Each balloon will represent a business or firm on Main Street. A business can attach a message to its balloon a greeting to outsiders, or something about the fun and vitality in Park City. On a signal, multi-colored balloons will be released into the air. At that point, assembled Parkites will open fire on them, blasting the balloons with B.B. guns, air pistols, hunting rifles, slingshots, bows and arrows, firecrackers and buckshot. If we get enough sports-loving Parkites here, the festive flock should be reduced to pathetic shreds of flaccid rubber, dribbling to earth. One single balloon will then be released and allowed to float away. This will symbolize the "Seed of Survival" Sur-vival" in Park City and the promise of renewed life in the fall. When you call City Hall, all you hear are giggles even on the recorded messages! The City Council has scheduled an "executive session" this Thursday afternoon af-ternoon but rumors say the council is really smuggling in champagne and preparing for a toga party. And City Attorney Tom Clyde will issue new stationery. The top of each page will feature gold lettering that says, "Go ahead. Make my day ! " What's the cause for celebration? A Utah court ruled for the city and tossed out the expensive Cornice anti-trust suit by developer Monty Gibson. Later today, Council will vote a resolution declaring April 30, 1984 as " V-M Day." It's not all fun and games, however, considering that all the legal documents in the case consumed a vast amount of wood pulp. On Friday, City Manager Arlene Loble will lay a wreath at The Tomb of the Unknown Forest. Another Gibson note;. We've been reading through 'Judge Winder's 90-page 90-page opinion 6n 'the 'Cornice suit (which reads like a bureaucrat's version ver-sion of a Sidney Sheldon novel), and we think we've spotted the piece of evidence that finally swayed the case in favor of the city. Amid all the planning plan-ning entanglements, Gibson formed a business entity associated with his development firm, Park City Limited. The company was called Amalgamated Amalgamat-ed Vulture! It doesn't really seem as if summer construction has begun to tear up Main Street. There are two reasons for this: (1) As we write this, the furshlugginer snow is still falling outside our window, and (2) the city hasn't scheduled any neat kick-off ceremonies for the rupturing rup-turing of the street. ' : We could have the City Manager cut a ribbon across the bottom of Main. Or maybe council members could take turns operating the first jackhammer. However, I believe we should study four ideas. 1) What better way to start things ... than with a dynamite blast? Since park City : has ; many ; ex-miners in $ jsidence,, we can, easily figure a way' to set of f any explosion at the bottom of " Main Street that will not damage I nearby buildings. Much. 2) The project can be launched like a ., ship. From the upper floor of the Park Hotel, Arlene Loble will throw a ; champagne bottle at the end of a rope which will swing down to smash against the asphalt below. 3) Since the project involves sewer and wine for a week, as part of Alcohol Awareness Week. The mayor noted that some people won't have a problem. Others will have to make an effort. "For some, it'll be impossible," he said. Another fun spot is Gila Bend, Arizona, which sets national records for heat: How hot is it? The mayor says that you can make instant coffee from tap water. The water comes out of the town wells at 107 degrees, he said in an AP story. The three temperatures in summer are "around 110 in the shade, 130 in the sun and 150 on the desert sand." Best recent moment on KPCW: Disc jockey Kate McCutchan couldn't find a record requested by a listener. So she played the next best thing the Rolling Stones singing "You Can't Always Get What You Want." Michael Jackson mania continues. If you look at the TV listings in your Salt Lake papers, you'll notice little subheads that talk about the highlights of television that night. Usually, they say something like "Mr. T. battles Godzilla ! " or "Nude Ibsen on PBS ! " The other day we saw one that said, "Michael Jackson's Pepsi commercial on 'Remington Steele'" (Who cares about what's on the TV program? See the commercial!) We've seen it, and it's not a big deal. You can't even see his hair catch on fire! Speaking of Jacksons, UPI reports that two democratic caravans ran into each other at a highway intersection in Tennessee. Candidates Gary Hart and Jesse Jackson walked to a grassy area and talked alone for about 10 minutes. Said the news: "From a distance, Jackson seemed to be doing most of the talking with Hart listening." For you feminist movie buffs, Teri Gomes showed us this quote about Fred Astaire: "...Sure he was great, but just remember: Ginger Rogers did everything he did, but backwards and in high heels." ; ; Of course, it would happen in Salt Lake. An unemployed musician asked the SLC Planning Commission to let him work as a street musician, as in such cities as Chicago and San Francisco. Fran-cisco. But the commission turned him down. Explained a board member, "We're certainly not Chicago or San Francisco." EDITOR'S NOTE: In last week's issue of the Park Record, we published a story on our front page with the headline: "Attention, beautiful Parkites." We apologize for being redundant. According to rumors, Park City was recently visited by Oscar-winning actress, ac-tress, political activist and aerobics goddess Jane Fonda. Her visit was a skiing trip. Fonda has been known for her many activities on behalf of the proletariat. However, we have heard that she and husband Tom Hayden spent their time in Deer Valley the most upper-class resort in town, the kind of place where Ronald Reagan would feel at home. Where were Fonda-Hayden when Park West needed them? This will become a major issue if Hayden ever decides to run for national office. (Well, if they can make ' a big deal over "Hartpence," wlpy not . thjs?) . PLACES THAT ARE WORSE TO LIVE IN THAN PARK CITY DURING SUMMER CONSTRUCTION : In Boca Raton, Florida, the 60,000 residents were asked to give up alcohol |