OCR Text |
Show H -rv,L '- l jjjilr in i. H i CEASELESS SPINNER. H Edith was admiring' her new frock. M "Isn't It wonderful?" she said, "that all this silk comes from an Inslgnifl- H rant worm?" H "Edith, is It necessary to refer to your fatheV in that way?" her mother M lnqulrcdvcbpectfully H SAFETY FIRST. .M.J H "Does your husband believe in the AKL F00LS' DAY- v H i theory that kissing transmits ..Tho flrst of AprlI somo do sayi I Se"No.?' He thinks that the only trans- Is sct rt for A Fools' D j mitter of germs is money, and Is very But whv the People call it so, H careful not to hand me any." Nor I, nor they themselves do know." H STUNG I Hl i At first glance you'll probably think Hl That this stunt is verse and will rhyme. V You're stung! This Is April Fools' Day. Hp And there's no rhyme or reasqn at all! Hj ' i , H j- i ! H s f --H JJ$Vi?fe ?W I ' IBPi ? ill I 2l J x H! SHE'D HELP HIM. M "Darling, I am absolutely broke." 1 "Oh, dear, I'm so sorry. But don't worry. I'll just go down town to the H stores tomorrow morning and buy everything wo need while our credit is H I still good." J W'W Jllf PSI'Vy JDOAJ-TH' 7U. f77-" A 72) r ONir "THE: Wof?T VV J Ull ljg&5v VV GOT- 7o-YG7T FJPPl. - etm I APRIL FOOLS. , 'jFOOLS ihere be that powder and OOLS that trifle and fools that j) paint " jF flirt And follow a foolish life, And fools that pinch their toes V Fools that seek for the cas)' way In fool-shaped shoes, buy fool-style hats And shrink from worry and. strife. And wear fool-fashioned clothes. i Concerning Your Income r j , Man's notion of pleasure and fun without measure Is buying such thlng3 as he cannot afford; to spend Ins last nickel and get in a picklo In squander- Ing dough when ho can't pay his board. Whatever most pleases his fancy rvffisi J he seizes and asks not the price till tho bargain is made; .and llttlo emotion -fcL ffs- exhibits his notion of whether the butcher and baker are paid. The trades- 'M-rl IsOt men arc pressing and keep his wife guessing to think up a story to keep TiHJ7Xy sSSgjisy them at bay, while ho does the spending and giving and lending because he's ygf y? f tho first one to fondle his pay. Perhaps he's well-meaning and may have a ?v Q $ M leaning to buying fine things for his children and wife, when she could much sszQ VI - better provide l,he'd let her by purchasing things more sustaining to life. Ci I Rrr-a-E? riiA J He may, In all meekness, confess to his weakness and really intend to be t sa SF:r' lln J prudent and wise, and probably munches on fifteen-cent lunches to try to stfmK&s j & make up for the tilings that he buys. To girls who would marry somo Tom, n. bw& J Dick or Harry because ho has money and spends it like sin, I make this v. j Af' suggestion: Just bring up the question and make pre-arrangements concern- Tl 3 I j "zx ing the tin. k "ffigu&Z1 W GEO. CARDETON. ?SS50 j l V (-Z) Ut -t EASY MARK. y i Affi&S'h. I 'i "r Softlcigh Are you quite certain jf "' PRk I l VTV Uss Charmln is out? She sent' mo a W nf:r(Kl I 1' 1 I" I f Or fcfju I N Ml sPecIal Invitation to call upon her to- f -I I I ' f 0 "- iii Norah YIs, this Is tho First of MJ W I I j uxj? ( I wJ April. Sure, but Its aizy yez are. young W I m n --iiwm'iy wni man! INSURING HER STAY. "The cook wants to borrow something from the library. Shall I let SARCASM OF THE REJECTED, her have it?" "Do you writo for publication?" "Certainly. If she gets interested in a story she might slay until she "Oh, no, merely for circulation finishes it. Givo her one of those long English novels in four volumes." among the editors." d SHE COULD DO TWO THINGS. Madam, could you give a hungry fellow something to eat? Yes, and I can also give an Idle man some work. m JK Vv-c- j 4 o e- jvr-'C sii K "'ihX COULDN'T KEEP IT UP. ' ' x "i thought you were a vegetarian." . HERE ONCE MORE. "I used to be, but tho present price 'j Those time worn Jokers, tho old hat of potatoes drove me back to the flesh- I and tho brick are with us atrain! eaters." Not Satisfied ".Mother, will 1 go to heaven when I the llttlo chlld and aftcr a few mln. die." asked little Harold. utes he rcpljed: "If you are a good boy you will," ..Well, don.t sec hovs, am goIng i angered his mother. . t0 have much fun there." 5 "Will you go too?" continued the " by . . FREEDOM: OF THE SEAS. 1 "I hope too." was the reply. Thc sea was once a place that called f And will Papa? The aummer girl to festive scenes I es. we all shall bo there." Of late it leaves the world appalled These answers seemed to dissatisfy Because of sharks and submarines. I - -- -g--- JOY OF BEING BOSS "t? yu fa"ghtor happily married, Mrs Perkins?" "She sho' ih, Mrs. Lundev !i, s? eath of her." ndei. She s done got a husban' dafs skewed to |