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Show 'GOBS' KEEP OUR II SCOTCH THEATER Quickly Dispose of Youngsters Young-sters Who Persist in Interrupting In-terrupting the Play. . Fists Are Used on the Mosl Noisy Ones and Others Quickly Subside. By DELT EDWARDS, Universal Service Staff Correspondent. J A FORT IN SCOTLAND, Nov. 25 (by f mail). The "gobs" am going to the theater the-ater tonight in this little Scotch village. Jt lias been drizzling all day. But th men, hundreds of them working in the American - mining base near by.Xare in fine ;-pirit. The thpater is liko tho old concert hall at hom. th: one yuu used io rent when you wcro going to school tu jriyu tho club dances. It ha.s one room, a slice of a gallery, and tho stage is one of tosc places about as high as the ordinary bar. The curtain bears a picture of a beautiful beau-tiful lad;. The enamel has come off her facj. and the old curtain lias been rolled up miid down so often it is beginning to cr.iH in many places. It is hoisied with a ..ing, aa in tho good old entertainment entertain-ment days back home. You buy a reserved seat for two e hillings hil-lings 18 cents. Tho young lady points out on her pJat a good seat. Then she ressrves it for you. That is, she writes the number of the Beat on a slip of paper pa-per and draws a little mark across the Beat in the plat. So you are cafe. In Come the Yanks. Tt, is a drizzling night, and the theater will be crowded. Already the first three rows have been sold out. Along come the Yanks. They are all boxed up in their pea jackets to keep warm and dry. They conic in smiling, shuffle to the first row seats and greet the members of the orchestra w iLh a cheery word. For- the orchestra is made up of sailors and men who have seen service. Jt is a dandy. Bang! The orchestra starts off. It. is playing jazz. Tho Yanks sing. A few whistle. Not loudly, but jupt in good spirits. Tho Scotch Scotties join in. Thero is fine spirit between tho two. The footlights are turned on. The curtain cur-tain rolls up jerkily and out comes "The London Kevue Star" in all his original creations, including "the narvous lady." That tells enough about him from the way the Scottiis an 6 the Yanks acted. "No. 2" was struck up. Jt was on the . program as an "Indian medley." Up v goes the curtain. The Mdian songstress is a real Indian, certainly. Flie and her-partner her-partner must have taken postgrad cr -iii-Res at Carlisle. She is garbed in a department store evening gown and her partner has his hair clicked up like a Briton. She sits at a piano and tears it. to pieces with ragtime. The Yanks cheer her and applaud. Encore Makes Hit. Then for an encore she sings "In My Arizona Home." This is 11 ry really cf- lectivo part. You are all worked up with the romance of it. You have visions of wigwams, wampum, moccasin?, reindeer, tents witli venison on little spits at a fire and emoke curling up into the -windless night. Perhaps a moon and a "bit of the old flat prairie stretching far hack. An Indian pony tethered alongside the tent. She extends her arm to the vision her Arizona home. Down falls a drop with a touching picture of a New Jersey Jer-sey bungalow; $100 down and $100 every t'me you stick our head out of the door. "Vow!" yelled a pea-jacketed youth from Baltimore. And then along comes "the Canadian Scot in song and story." I-le was a great traveler. He tells half a dozen stories just to warm up. Each is a personal recollection. Each a personal per-sonal meeting with someone in high life. "J want to tell you a story that was told to me by Lillian Russell," he said. Then he went on. Tt was the samo old story Lillian has told confidentially to 78.673 persons up to tho present. The story didn't go very well. Then tho monologist, who looked too much liki a regular guy to waste his time tuld a story about a very important man. Tells Chicago Story. "T was then in Chicago," Tie said. "There was a- lot of you fellows at the lvi.ck of the train to hear him make a speech. He said. 'You're a tough looking look-ing bunch, but if wo ever have a war wlili Germany it will take just such fellows fel-lows as you ore to win.' " That didn't go a hit. For these boys urn not a tough-looking bunch, by any means. This fact has been one of the great surprises to the British people, the Scotch. the Welsh, the French t he c lean -cut. Intelligent, upright-looking l"t of men who represent the United States navy and army. Tho monologist faded away with the slightest pattering of hands. Then camo the "diminutive harmonizing harmoniz-ing vocalists," a three-foot boy and a 1 h roe-foot girl with a forty-foot voice. They could be heard all over tho village. vil-lage. "They're so rotten they are good," commented the youth from Baltimore. Then "tho world's greatest rifle and I pistol shot." Boys Give Their Aid. Tho young lady was pretty, graceful, very fctehlngly costumed. "Will someone step up and hold this card for me to shoot at?" Nearly the whole audience of Yanks Jumped to their feet. "Only two," she cautioned. One husky sailor walked up and said: "Looks like this is about the onlv chanco we will have of being shot at." Then "the bright and breezy duo in on up-to-date comedy, singing "and patter pat-ter act." They were good, but there was a tragedy. As soon as the bright ouo appeared, one of the boys made a remark tho actor did not like." The actor stopped for a second and looked a warning. warn-ing. A few minutes ;urr a group in the gallery started to guy him. "Now, my young coekspnrrow," shouted shout-ed the comedian, "if you can do this any better, come dmvn here. You are tho only one objecting. We are only asking for a show." There was a few minutes of silence from the interfering one. Then some more objectionable chatter. "Now, my young cocksparrow, either you go out uf this hall or I go out. The wife refuses to go on. You are t he only one objecting. The people down here havo to suffer for tho likes of you. If they think we are no rotten tln-y want us to stop wo will do so." Use Heroic Measures. One of tho officers in the audience cat led a husky yeoman to him. The yeoman ."ummoned two men to his side. They slid out of the audience tike a reak. In a not her liminc-nt t hey w ire r np in the gallery. "Cuino out," came a very determined S vol.-' The chief trouble maker made no move. "Come out!" This was final. Still the troublemaker trouble-maker sat still. Bang; You could hear it nil over the theater. The yeoman planted a hard fiut back of the right ear of the trouble- maker. The youth rolled out of his chair. "Take him out!" the yeoman ordered I to his nM prin. They picked up the I man and bust led him out . j come nut!" the yeoman said to - thf second, lie gut up and went without with-out ti"u:'l". 1 !e beckoned w hh his finger to the third man. No mo ". Banc;! Again th" yeoman planted his t'iM. The man rolled out of his chair, was grabbed up and hustled out. There was a cheer from all the Yanks below. "A-e-e-e,. the Yankee laddies should bac ih.-r,- bit of fun. It's nae our funeral," fu-neral," said an uld Scotchman. |