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Show Jimmietoy mTrustland JIMMIEBOY INTERVIEWS MR. CER-BERUS CER-BERUS AND ENTERS TRUSTLAND BY JOItN KBNDRICKS BANGS. HE scone, that met Jlmmleboy's j eye upon his entrance through the Arch w:us bcwlldorlngly dassllng;. The highway that stretched flowii through thr orchard of golden fruit trees was Of polished silver and the rays of the sun bcitlng1 down upon It neatly blind''! him. Tho buttercups ami daisies In tho fields Wore all of precious nietals, and oil every hand, lav evidences f stnred-up wealth so flittering that evi n o glimpse of It wm a strain upon the vision. ' 'It makes my eyes water!" h ri-' as the Luster of the scene dimmed his vision, putting his bands over his brow "Of course it does, ' laughed tho Cerborus. Cer-borus. "It would make anything water, that scene It's oven opier zed water "Ut of steel, and you know what that moans 1 gues you'd better lot me lit vu out with a pair of ponies before you go any further or you II have tho sajno experience experi-ence mo.'t of the oth' r chaps who rrnnfl In hero on trips of Investigation have been up against '' ."What's that"" asked Jimmieboy anxiously. anx-iously. "Got So blind thov rouldn't son a thin-. said tho Cerborus, hair of his eyes winking wink-ing jovouslv at the other half. "It's a peculiarity pe-culiarity of Trustland that somehow or other tho minute a man comes In here something happens that's about the same as putting a bandage over his eves Why, n whole Investigating Committee from New England came here once to look Into the Pumpkin Pie Trust and when they gut home they said they hadn't seen a thing worth mentioning and thej were right.' Cerborus added with a laugh "Thry hadn't. EorythIng In her. glittered glit-tered so. As Vd Orecnfeller. the Poet Laureate of Trustland. put it Ko mutter how you nrk at It. stratpcht eyedi or glance of stealth. TbSTB'fl nntlilnc quite BO bllnilnc n:i Accumulated wealth. There was a maid o wealthy onca Her ultir nil Wl re Mind Vntii the awful faet that ho V.ia quite devoid of mind. There was a rlinp f f;jll of co'n Lived in Hohokui one That not a slrl he ever mt Perceived he wns a dune. And living in another town I met a wealthy n'.alo fi rl-h that people never saw He'd oughlcr been In Jail. And In a well-known college town. Most every year you'll see Bemi wealthy Ignnramus pot An LL. P. degree. No matter how you look at It. Straight eyed, or Juki a flash. rTherr'M nothing quite so blinding as Co-ordinuud eoh. "See?" quoth tho Cerberus, as ho completed com-pleted the poem. "I see, said Jimmieboy. "And XTUSt-land XTUSt-land Is! "Co-ordinated ("ash raised to the ninth power" said the lrberjs "Which is why we glitter so inside hor. and vshy we have as our motto K Pluribus Skln-lium Skln-lium and engrave upon our circulating mediums thai beautiful sentiment 'I" Gaud we Trust.' Ever go to Dreamland?" Yes,'' sahi Jimmieboy, "lots of times " " eii Trustland ir to Commerce, what Dreamland is to the Circus It doesn't cost much to get In, but It takes about all you've got to get out That';- why they have no on guard at the Kate not to keep people out but to keep 'em from getting OUt alter they once come in. Ex- cuse me for s minute but here's a case requiring attention now." The Cerberus left Jimmieboy 8 side for a moment and rushed to the pat.- to intercept in-tercept a Wild-eyed, dlshi veled looking individual in-dividual who was to be seen approaching along the sliver highway at a terrlfie rate of speed and shrieking madly all the time 'Lot me out' I.et me out!" he cried, as the Cerberus tripped him up In his head-lone head-lone rush. "Certainly we'll let you out." said the Cerberus, "if jou ure qualified to be let out." "Oh. T Implore you let Oil go!" cried the fugitive. "I've told yOU once, ' returned the Vr- bcrus shortly, "th it if you arc Qualified to leavr i n open the gate not otherwise." What do I liav to have to qualify''" demanded the fugitive "Nothing," said the Cerberus, gating at him grimly out of all his many eyes, "Well. I've not it," groiin d the fugitive bursting intc tears "When 1 I ame Into Trustland I had J80.000 in caSh. and the Iron Pig pot it from me gee!" be added, turning his pockets Inside out, "Not a cent left." "Good day to you," said the Cerberus, opening the gale and ushering the fugitive fugi-tive out. "You dtfuhtles think you're in hard luck. Mr M m but it might have been worse." he called after the poor fellow fel-low a.s he fled groaning down the outside road "I don't see how It could have been i vorse" hh ! 1 Jimmlelioj is tie Cerberus ' locked the gate again "He's absolutely busted ain't he?" "Perfectly simple." observed the Cer-berus. Cer-berus. "He only lost pSO.OOo. Suppose he'd had M.Oau when he came in ! He'd have been $1C00 worse off than he Is now, and fo on up Then, he didn't lost more than he had, which would hae been Infinite! worse. I've known men to come In here v. Ith a million and go out not only tni flout fl-out that, but owing nothi one and some-times some-times that means jail STou want t.. look ni this thln philosophically There's another an-other little poem of tho Laureate's about that sort of thing that you ought to keep constantly In mind, young man. It runs like this: Whenever I have broke on arm, and feel a trifle blue. It rIwuvh cheers mo up to think I might have broken two. And if prrehonrc I've fractured ioth and feel I'i-a inln"l the ilree". Jt coinfqrU nit I thlnl I've nol IlkewiSt tn i spllntcri i l-i.'- And If It chance both lers -jji t sxnu are hunted, hunt-ed, in my " 1 I Ho meet cheerfully a id mil to ihlnj-. I've guved my head. Or If my head hatli a;- .teri- Into the grin-ral wreck. It pioaeoa rr.f n much lu tLir.k t u.tjtit have been m neck. And whfn With lot and lurid sni rTre ray neck la enappwl likewise. I really nmr with glea to think it cannot hau- pes twice. "In other words," said tho Cerberus, "It don't make any different c what happens, hap-pens, there's always happiness In the thought that it might be worse. If a man robs you of $30.uw Uju, Just think of how much worse you'd feel If you'd robbed him of 3o y),Oan. I'nderst.'i nd " ' Yep." gaid Jimmieboy, "i think I do " "Well " observed th.- Cerberus, "If you keep that Idea 'in mind all tho way through Trustland Iho idea that it might be worse and that If then- s anv robbing done you won't b" the guilty parij you won't have any trouble, and when you come out at the other end you'll feel certain cer-tain that things in here aren't as bad as they might be." Jimmieboy promptly made a note of the Cerberus's wise remarks and thn turned his attention to the orchard "It Is very beautiful, isn't it?' he snld. "Those apples up thero aro they re-ai?" "Eightee n karat " said the Cerberus "You don't find many karats on your apple trees, I reckon." he added, proudly "And aro they good to eat?" usked Jimmieboy. Jim-mieboy. ' Tosh, boy, what a question " retorted the Cerberus. ' Good to eat? No. What's the use of eating em ! When you eat the kind of apples you're used to they're done for. gone forever. Fruit that you can eat Is always perishable, but these gold oranges and radium pears wo grow In here last forc'.r." "And the leaves " said Jimmieboy "They look like greenbacks.'' "They are greeiibaeks." observed the Cerberus. "So of course thev look like 'em." "Mercy," cried Jimmieboy. "And bow Is II that you don't gather them In and ppeiiil thein'"' "it's too early," said the Cerberus. "It isn't harvest time yet. We are waiting until autumn, when they turn Into yellow backs. What's tho upo of gathering live Ed ton dollar biliB, wbon by waiting four or live months you can gather lift lor. and hundreds?" "Ph e i ewl" whistled Jimmieboy. "Fifty "Fif-ty dollar Mils gaowlng on trees. That's perfectly bully. What do you call those I trees. Mr. Cerberus'' ' "Tho long green tree." replied the Ccr-berua Ccr-berua "It's development of tine green ha ir e You've Heard of flourishing Uko a green bay tree, haven't you?" "Yes, " said Jimmieboy, "often." "Well the people who run Trustland took tho grc' n bay tree rnui treated. It Scientifically Sci-entifically in 'I" b" f getting a greenback green-back tree They watered it persistently they got a lot oi graft rs at work upon it mid grafted all over It, they kept it well pruned nod then watered it some more, mid before ionK they had developed it Into the long green trees thnt you now Bee sprouting forth millions every season sea-son " "Why, It s wonderful " ejaculated .lim-miebo) .lim-miebo) "Outsiders think so,' said the Cerberus, but here In "rust land we don t think H'h so everything. Our managers have discovert I certain natural principles which, proporlj applied, bring about certain cer-tain seemingly wonderful r-ult that's .ill Take, rot instknc . their conversion of Hoi Air into Trust Certificates, thence Into shares. Common and Preferred, and thence Into gold All it required was a little nerve, some paper and as much Hot Air as thej could lay their hands on We can coin dollars out of vacuuttis in here. and I don't believe the day Is far off when I they'll !,. nuking silk purs, s out of lr- , ginia hams. They've already mMufac- lured a needle with nn eyo big enough for a . amel to go through. "What's the good of that?" demanded 3lvtO mo.t people." observed the , ; i bus With a brokd grin, 'but thero " In our Hoard of Dire, tors who seem to think that it may come n handy s. iv day. Important things may depend MyTng 11 come needle's eve vnii can never toll. But coim?' , you mustn't waste your tiny alklng to n, You t got a ong and l.N flcUlt Journ:y ahead of you, and you a beiier be Starting along .Int let me flt rou out with a pair of colored goggles to t ike the flare off your cyc.i, and then vr,u can start out without fear of being blinded " Whereupon the kindly old follow placed a lln.i pair of gold-rimmed glasses on Jim. mlelioy's nnso and bade him look through them. "My," erlel Jimmloboy, as he obeyed the CerebUS' command 'What a illffer-. illffer-. 1 1 1 e It takes all the, glare off, doesn't it? ' "Yes." said the Herbems. ' .Makes things look more reasonable, eh''" "Indeed It docs," said Jimmieboy. "They ?urno& PUe" |