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Show j CDe fpatt MbM wtt j N' 0T all the stories' which State Superintendent Su-perintendent Nelson tells on his . llttio son would look well In print, but there Is one that is all right. Tho boy had attended Sunday-school and ho had heard enough about heaven and Its antlpodo to make him curious to know something of tho geography of thc.ie places. When he got homo he asked: "Where Js heaven, papa?" , Superintendent Nelson was l:usy thinking think-ing now ho would overcome his Democratic Demo-cratic opponent next fall and disposed of the youthful questioner by declaring that he did not know. "I'll bet papa came from the bad place1" declared tho little fellow to his mother. "Why, my child?" " Cause ho den't know whore heaven is." . A straw hat with a pair of muff attachments at-tachments would about fit this Utah we.ithor. Especially for those who can afford but ono kind of a hat for day timo and evenlnss. "I don't know why the water Inspectors make so much complaint because we use all tho water wo wish to," declared a Flrct Streoter. "Millions of gallons ko to waste every day that could be ;used on the lawns and gardens." "It's all a matter of safeguarding tho public," declared an Inspector. "There is plenty of water now. There may not bo all year. If wo permit Mn users to get tho habit of wastotulness they would feel they were outraged later in tho season should It bo necessary to further limit the qirrtlty used." Up at Ogden, where unusual thinss arc more likely to happen than anywhere else In Utah, every fow days somo man brings suit against his wlfo for divorce. I Most evcrywhero clso men suo each other or tholr neighbor's wlfo for such trivial things as a divorce. Doctors, though educated in tho snmo schools, never agree. But they generally think a bunch of twelve men aro very stupid when they permit such a small thing ns a legal tangle to hang them. 4 I "Why is there so much salt In the vra- I icr asKen a youngster as be raked a pound or two of salt from his eyes and oars at Saltalr recently. "I don't know," replied a companion, "unless It Is becauso tho air Is so raw when you come out." If soma. Utah town would advertise no fireworks, no explosions, no tin horns nor other ncrve-brcaking noises, It should catch tho crowd on "tho glorious." lvcn at the risk of being accused of being fixed with a "free paso to all performances," per-formances," I will say that tho new management man-agement at the Salt Palaco is providing entertainment for its guests theso even-ingj even-ingj that is woith many tlmos tho price of admission. Somo of the races aro high cla9s and most of the vaudeville numbers num-bers aro abovo the average of the summer sum-mer ovonts. Then these aro not tho "onlics." Ono may enjoy himself. Two have the limo of their lives. Ono way to get pure milk is to find, If possible, a dairyman who keeps cows' Most of tho typhoid attributed to tho quality of Old Spot's product In reality comes from a pump or a hydrant. m Advocatea of a peaceful Fourth might go to Garfield beach. After tho Masons havo tholr outing Friday, that will bo tho deadest place west of Omaha, o Tho street railway company will have something, to do helping the circus beat tho members of tho Council out of the .several hundred compllmentarles they arc said to have demanded. Those headllncrs, who. in plavlng up tho Botha case, declared that Botha had been "snatched from the Jaws of death," did not understand the situation In Utah They should havo written It: "Marched" from tho muzzles of the rlllcs into tho florco llro of tho prison bako ovon." "Dutch" Charllo Is now a baker's apprentice. ap-prentice. o Radium Is now but J50O.Q00 a pound. It has fallen from a million and a half during dur-ing tho past live months. At this rate It should bo within the reach of all in forty or fifty years. If you have, the rheumatism, the proper caper Is to hunt a bumble-bee's nest, stir the animals up, and get yourself stung. Scientists havo proved that bco stings aro a sure euro for rheumatics. So far aa has been reported, the political ax has .not been used locally since Mayor Morris lopped off tho heads of several of tho clt departments. There is an unconfirmed uncon-firmed rumor out that several axes and tomahawks, that have done battle in other campaigns, aro about to bo dug up for use during the next fow weeks. "What is that building on East South Tomplo, beyond the Alta club?" asked a visitor. "Why. that's tho Sandwich house." "What is it called tho Sandwich house for?" "Becauso It Is 'sandwiched' In between the two clubs." |