Show WITH THE WITS First Girl Cholly is a nice boy only helms he-lms so much to say Second GIrlNo thats just where his weal point lies He thinks he has Detroit Free Press It wont work said Jones sadly What wont worts Hypnotism Tried It on the butcher Looked at him fixedly until I had his undivided attention then I said very slowly and with emphasis That bill isjiaid And what did the butcher do Ho sold Youre a liar Hew York Press A story of Scotch honesty come from Dundee A small boy had taken the prize for an exceptionally welldrawn map After the examination he teacher a little doubtful asked the lad Who helped you with this map James Nobody sir Come now tell me the truth Didnt your brother help you No sir he did It all A little southern girl who Isa remark blv well behaved child one day confined to her aunt that sho thought the Jones children vvero awful You cant imagine how bad they are auntie They toll stories and disobey I their mother and everything and If they are so bad when they are little I just I expect theyll every one grow up to be I lYouths Companion I Look out for Tiyphosis bicycllfatarum It is l a bend In your spine Which eight timers in nine Will give you a whole lot of trouble If you wish to prevent ThIs bicycle bent I Dont sit on your wheel In a double Look out for Kyphosls blcyclistarum Exchange Speaking of McAllister probably the only man in Boston who has ever interviewed inter-viewed him or rather tried to is Charles A Metcalf of the Kollis and Coluttbus theatres Mr Metcalf was a reporter in Philadelphia at the time of the Centennial Centen-nial and a controversy arose on the ran agement ot the Centennial ball McAl I llstor was severely assailed and every paper was an > loug to i et a reply Slot calf was the first to arrive it the house which McAllister had made his home and his ring at the bell wa answered by a rather fat unkempt bolting man with tousled hair an old coat and carpet flippers run down at the heel 1 want to fee the old man was the statement of the errand Who was the query Why the old man McAllister you know oI dont think Mr McAHIster will sea you was the reply g Oh yes he will Hell be tickled to death to see me Im a reporter I But I am quite sure he will not see you insisted the old man Well why not Because I am Mr McAllister and the door closed abruptly leaving the interviewer I inter-viewer nal interviewless Boston Rome Jour |