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Show Learn When To Say No come up which should be given some thought. If you do consider the problem, and obviously examine what is being asked, and then you say no, people will understand. Listening before you say no helps. By REV. LEE TRUMAN Copley News Service There are hazards to life and limb every ev-ery day, and this is a part of modern life. But in our risking and rushing no one is saying a word about the nigh cost of always al-ways saying "yes." This is the result of the disease called: "I want to be thought of as a good guy." ALL NORMAL persons want to be liked, accepted, and maybe even loved. As a person, each of us wants to be well thought of, even seen as a grand sort of a soul. But when we are put on the spot, and by all logic and good common sense, we should refuse but we say yes to our detriment, there is a problem. When we cannot bring ourselves to sav that word "no" we need helD. Whv? WHAT'S wrong with George? He is hurting, and because he has not learned how to look someone in the eye and say those almost lost words in our English language: "No, I prefer not, thank you." So that I shall not be just long on diagnosis di-agnosis and short on cure, let me point out a few items about this business of saying no. Look at the positive side of your life in honesty and decide just what you are going to do this next year. Do those things you think are worthwhile and which you enjoy doing. Say yes to them with conviction. YrnE-N YOU are asked to tie magazines maga-zines for Outer Mongolia, say that you are already committed to your church, Boy Scouts or United Fund work, but "thank you" for asking. There are other situations which will Because at that moment we are on another committee , going or doing something some-thing which bores us to tears, or just deeply resenting the encroachment of something else on our innermost selves and lives. NEXT TIME you sit at a committee table or on a club board, or go out to collect money, look around you and see how many eyes are filled with expectation, expecta-tion, hope and delight. Now count how many look like they would second a motion mo-tion to adjourn and bolt for the door the moment the gavel hits the table. I would guess the latter outnumbers the former every time. The illness is in our not being able to say no when we should. Face the real issue -- why do you let yourself be just another used, warm body? GEORGE IS a neat guy, respected, has a good sense of humor, but he is miserable. Why? Because George cannot can-not say no. He is on 14 committees, eight organizations lay claim to him, he is always al-ways at the head table, and has not had a night home since when. He is overweight because hostesses are always serving a "no-cal" dessert, and "one more bit won't hurt," and starch is standing fare at lodge dinners. |