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Show Plows of the Magnificent Seven It's been snowing incessantly for two weeks now, and events are reaching crisis proportions. Arlene Loble, using her special executive powers, has decided to call on the Special Winter Armored Tactical Team, otherwise known as S.W.A.T.T. Who are they? Just the toughest road crew this side of Aspen. HONDO-The leader of the group. He's seen snowdrifts that make Mount McKinley look like a 7-Eleven Lime Freezie. LEBEAU, the Frenchman He's got 0 an easy answer for everything, whether it's a snow-packed highway or f a woman with ice in her veins. X-RAY O'ROURKE got his name for ' his uncanny ability to find objects under the snowbanks. With a one-ton ' backhoe blade, he can scrape off a 1 buried Volkswagon and not even tear the bumper stickers. ICEPICK He grew up tough and cynical on the west side of Sun Valley. He only carries a snow shovel, but can clear more powder than three average men with plows. And when he gets mad, they say it's not pretty to watch what he can do with a windshield scraper. THE KLONDIKE BROTHERS Off the job, they'll fiht over women, politics, and the draw of the cards. But just try to separate them when the bad patches of black ice loom ahead on the road. THE KID Sure, he's a little green (or a little blue, actually he just had his virgin bout with hypothermia). He'll be a good man if he gets to grow up, but every frost jockey knows you can't hide from the icicle with your name on it. Together, they're only seven men, but they plow like 7,000. And no amount of "partly cloudy" is going to stop them We know you couldn't live without the latest news on the Cabbage Patch Doll craze. ( In Nampa, Idaho, for instance, a newspaper editor bought a Cabbage doll, with hopes to sell it later fora, profit. But the doll was kidnapped from the locked trunk of his car. Rick Coffman, of the Idaho Press-Tribune, later received a note from the "December 25th Committee" (members (mem-bers of his own staff, Coffman suspects). The note demanded ransom and said "Don't call the cops or your Cabbage Kid will be coleslaw." He also received a photo of the doll, tied in telephone cord and guarded by people wearing paper bags over their heads. Several others have gotten into the act. Idaho Senator Steve Symms said he and two ex-Marines on his staff have formed a SWAT team to rescue the doll. Symms said he has also requested FBI director William Webster to "enter this case and leave no Pet Rock unturned." A detective firm in Oregon said it had raised an 83 cents reward for information leading to the doll's rescue. And a pilot offered to make an aerial search for it. Television news crews from as far away as Los Angeles showed up to cover the story. They were real, by the way. Associated Press also reported that in New Orleans, a "prominent businessman" busi-nessman" ordered a custom-length mink coat for his Cabbage Doll, as a present to his wife. It will not be long before people reserve cemetery plots for their 1dolls. By all means bury them as soon as possible! ;- If you didn't build your muscles shoveling the driveway, there's always Skiercise. The exercise program, starring a flock of Park City lovelies, was scheduled on Channel 2-KUTV recently but was bumped by a basketball game. Co-producer Dean Lyras told us the program will play next Sunday on Channel 2, from noon to 1 p.m. It will also play in February. The series is playing daily on Aspen's TV station, he said. It will also be picked up by stations in Winter Park Colorado, San Diego, Colorado Springs, Toronto, Denver, and Reno. The whole series is available on cassettes through Sports-world Cinema Cine-ma in Salt Lake for $49.95. And Skiercise will also get a mention from Playboy, since their own centerfold Alana Soares is one of the models used in the show. Recently, a series of "Coffee Achiever" commercials have attempted attempt-ed to sell the caffeine-infested brew as if it were as American as milk and apple pie. Now Maxwell House has announced a new TV ad campaign, with a character they think will be as enduring as Folgers' Mrs. Olsen. The character is a photographer named Hal who travels throughout the country with his, dog Duke shooting . outdoor scenes., And of course he; constantly runs into people who offer him Maxwell House. The trouble is that afterwards he has trouble focusing the camera because he's so jittery. At this point, Robert Young steps from behind a pine tree and asks, "Say, why's my favorite outdoor shutterbug so tense? " One of our councilmen-elect is already setting a new pace for City Hall. According to the story we heard, he received a thick packet from City Manager Arlene Loble on the Park City Centennial. He promptly informed Arlene that this would have to change. From now on, he wanted to see the reports in one page "Nixon-Style," he called it. Actually, he wasn't quite accurate. The one-page report is Ronald Reagan Style. Nixon Style is to receive the regular thick packet and immediately have it shredded. The Best Little Whorehouse on the reservation? That was the suggestion from the small Moapa band of Paiute . Indians in Nevada. The group wanted to set up a brothel on its land to help the tribe's disastrous economy. But the Bureau of Indian Affairs said no, ruling "Prostitution is not the kind of economic development envisioned by federal policy." Unfortunately, the Indians don't have many attractive alternatives, according to the Associated Press. The only businesses now are a tribal store, a greenhouse and an operation where people shovel manure from a dairy plant into bags. If approved, it would have been the closest cat-house to Las Vegas. But the reservation is located in Clark County, one which is unlike other counties in Nevada because it does not legalize prostitution. The Indians hoped the brothel would be the start of other truck stop-style enterprises aimed at the motorists on the nearby highway. They would have had the ultimate Gas 'n' Go stop, you might say. This Yuletide is a rarity for Jackie Craigle. It's the first Christmas in four years that Jackie, or son Zach, or both, aren't working in a play. But there is an acting Craigle working on the stage. Son Joshua has two small parts in the "Charlotte's Web" production in Pioneer Memorial Theatre at the University of Utah. Jackie said, "It's a real pain to drive him down to rehearsal every day." (Father John, living in Salt Lake, drives him back up the mountain.) But it's worth it, apparently. "Josh is doing well and he's real thrilled," Jackie said. ., And finally, two new stores on Main Street recently held prize drawings and the results were mighty suspip' cious. At Sweaters Only, Park Record staffer Bill Dickson drew the name for the woman who would win a free sweater. The name he drew was none other than Jill Snyder, another Record staffer! Furthermore, another Parkite drew the name of the male winner which turned out to be himself. And there's still more! When a drawing was held next door at The Old Soft Shoe, this guy won another prize. Sounds like a fix, you say? Call the local constabulary, you say? That's not necessary. Because the man who drew out his own name, who won two drawings in a row was Officer Al Allen. We've heard he's fast on the draw in police department competitions. But he'll never equal this performance! |