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Show JUST FOR FUN i A Slight Mistake. "It's curioui to observe," says a j Maryland man, "the manner In which ' many lllitctate persons prosper. I once I had bueiLcaj that used to tako me at intervals to a certain place on too Eastern shore. On one occasion I went into a s'oic there, the proprietor of which could neither read nor write. While I vra3 there a man came In i evidently a rcular customer. "'I owe yon 6omo money, don't I?' he Inquired. "The storekeeper went to tho door and turned it around eo that the back . was visible. "'Yes.', said be; 'you owe me for a cheese.' ' j " 'Cheese-' explained the customer, j 'I don't owe you for any cheese.' ; "The storekeeper avc another look at the door. " 'You're right,' Paid be. It's a , grindstone. 1 didn't see tho dot over j the "1" in the middle."' Llpplncott's. i a Good Old School Days! The conductor of a Western freight trsln saw a tramp stealing a ride on top of one of the forward cars IIo told a brakeman In the caboose to go up and put the man off at the next stop. When the b;keuan approached approach-ed the tramp the lv.ter waved a big revolver and told him to keep away. "Did you get rid of him?" the 'conductor 'con-ductor asked the brakeman when tho train was hnder motion again. "I hadn't th heart," was tho reply. re-ply. "He turned out to be an old school friend of mine." v "I'll take care of him," Bald the conductor, as he started over tho tops of the cars. After the train had mado another stop and gone on, the brakeman came Into the caboose and said to the conductor: con-ductor: "Well, Is he off?" "No; he turned out to be an old school friend of mine, too!" Everybody's. Every-body's. Some One Might Get Hurt. Jletro had drifted down to Florida, and was working with a pang at railroad rail-road construction. He had been told to beware of rattlesnakes, but assured that they would aiwaya give the warning warn-ing rattle before striking. One hot day he was eating his noon luncheon on a plno log, when he saw a big rattler colled a few feet in front of him. He oyed tho serpent, and began to lift his legs over tho log. He bad barely got them out of the way when the snake's fangs hit the bark beneath him. "Son of a gunna!" jelled Pletro. "Why ylu no ringa da bell?" Everybody's. Every-body's. The Secret. A certain Washington family is convinced con-vinced that its eight-year-old hopeful is destined to become a great scientist. sci-entist. He has already begun to see tho connection between cause and ef- Not so long ago this youngster was looking at a drop of water through a microscope. Here, there and everywhere every-where were darting anlmalculae "Now I know," announced tho child to the family, "what sings when the kettle bolls It's those little bugs." Llpplncott's. He Saved the Train. A brakeman w ho had not been long employed was going up a very steep grade on hla first run. With unusual difficulty the engineer succeeded In reaching the top. At the station, look lng out of his cab, the engineer saw the new brakeman and said with a sigh of relief: "I tell you what, my lad, we had a Job to get up here, didn't we?" "We certainly did." said the brake-man, brake-man, "and If I hadn't have put on tho brakes we'd have slipped, back." Llpplncott's. Llp-plncott's. " The Law and Order Movement. A man descended from an excursion frnln and was wearily making his way to the street car. followed by his wife and fourteen children, when a policeman police-man touched him on tho shoulder and 'said: "Come along with me." "What "Blamed if I know; but when ye're locked up I'll go back and find out why that crowd was following ye." Everybody's. Good Team Work, This. The preachers evening discourse was dry and long, and the congrega-' tion gradually melted away. The sex-1 ton tiptoed up to tho pulpit and 1 slipped a note under the corner of tho Bible. It read: "When you are through, will you I pleaso turn off the lights, lock the i door, and put the key under the mat''" E erybody's Matnzlne. |