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Show MARRKGll continued have married in order to have children also are most likely to stay together for their sake. A minority of husbands and wives stay in a faltering marriage out of fear. Thirty-si- x percent say they're afraid of being alone or starting over; 28 percent worry that the family income can't support two separate households. Attitudes toward sex. Although 92 percent of those surveyed say sex is 'important," only 32 percent say its very important." That puts it below communicating (very important" to 90 percent), mutual respect (very important" to 82 percent) and doing things as a couple (very important" to 58 percent ). Despite this lack of emphasis on sex . 60 percent report that they are sexually satisfied. For almost everyone in our survey, its important" or very important" to keep romance and excitement alive." With time, some of that excitement fades, and both sexes though it's somewhat truer for women than men say that they miss the thrill of the early days. The men in our survey put a bit more importance on sex than do the women. The women place a great deal more importance on sexual fidelity." Judging by the results of other polls, those surveyed are more faithful than average. Only 21 percent of the women and 28 percent of the men say they have had extramarital sex. Only 19 percent of the women and 12 percent of the men think that their spouses may have strayed. One secret to sexual happiness does emerge from this survey. Among the very satisfied sexually. 50 percent say they share equally in the responsibility for initiating sex. This happens with a scant 6 percent of those who are very dissatisfied sexually. Men vs. women. Equality is the new wave in marriage, but men tend to think there's more of it than do women. In those marriages where household tasks are shared, more husbands than wives by a margin believe they're The wives agree that the doing it 50-5men are sharing, but not equally." The gender gap in marriage is a perception gap. a difference in the way men and women look at what's happening. On marital issues such as how to spend money, how often to see the inlaws. how to spend leisure time, men consistently see more agreement than women do. "It could be that the wife isn't speaking up. so he doesn't know that she disagrees." says counselor Suzanne Garb. Or it could be that the husband isn't paying enough attention to what the wife is signaling or even saying out loud." Husbands and w ives also disagree on how much talking together they 're doing, according to our survey. Men think there's more communication than women do. Women, on the other hand, are the ones who want that communication and w ho two-to-o- 0. I) (Ml H-V- i VM ' III -- IHM 1 rtk-- -- I f 5tl r- -- - ifoW lWt -- 18 - 4 k--l1 !! Ito'ostMifeftW lt-- - n 1 k is- -- is i n - l J&- - 1 Ef h imif m Mi -- ( . rl - |
